Touchie-Feelie or Please Don't Play With the Babies!
Sometimes I feel like I should write a manual on outings with multiples. I should call it, "The Art of Crowd Control." I know it sounds like some presumptuous celebrity, but truly it’s necessary. Its one of those tiny well kept secrets that nobody tells you when you find out that you are pregnant with triplets.
Sure, people say don’t let anyone near your babies when they are tiny. What they don’t tell you is, that while people like to pinch the cheeks of babies when they are infants (singletons,) people feel the overwhelming need to not only crowd multiples, but touch them, feel them and do things to them that they normally wouldn’t do to even their own children.
I know it sounds mean. I know you want to see my cute adorable children. I understand that we are a novelty and that you have probably never seen a set of triplets before. Don’t get me wrong, I love to hear how precious and adorable and wonderful my kids are, really I do. But you have to understand a few things about us as well.
They are triplets. This means that they were carried together inside my small five foot three inch frame. It doesn’t look like that many babies could possibly fit inside my tummy, does it? You are right, they barely did fit and they didn’t fit for as long as a normal single baby would have fit, either.
This also means that they shared that space normally allocated for one baby to grow and they did it for a tiny bit past eight months. That shared space means that these babies grew at a good rate, but also grew at a rate that was determined by the space they had to grow inside of as well. This means that they are smaller when they are born and consequently are also not as developed as a single baby would be when born at the same time that mine were3.
Their very tiny, very cute bodies cannot fight disease as well as normal kids can because they were born early and smaller than most. This means that if you get too close, you may inadvertently give them something more than a friendly greeting. We know you mean well, and that your intentions are totally good, however they may get the sniffles, or even something worse from you if you touch them.
Its not that we find you diseased, please don’t feel as if we are treating you as if you had the plague. It’s just that when we get the sniffles, they may not go away for months on end and can give us a cough. That can lead to pneumonia or even an ear-ache or worse. They are very susceptible to disease and will remain this way until sometime after they turn two.
This past year, starting in September, we had to have a nurse come to our house and give us the synagis vaccine in hopes that it would prevent us from catching RSV, a respiratory disease that gives most people the sniffles, but could land us in the NICU if we are not careful. Although we have many friends from our month long stay in the NICU, we would rather visit them at the annual Christmas party or run into them at Wal-mart or Target than at their workplace! Luckily, our shots worked for us this year!
We really do enjoy talking to you and hearing about how cute the babies are. But they do sometimes get frightened if you get too close to them and forget that they don’t like loud noises or being crowded. They promise to try and be as cheery as they can be for you when you say, "Hi," but please remember that we get tired and cranky sometimes and cannot always be pleasant and chipper! The babies don't mean anything by it, really.
As long as you speak to them in a soft, pleasant voice, they will most likely respond in turn to you. If you are very lucky, they may even wave hello or bye-bye or even say something to you! Please remember that they are only one and often times will not talk or play with people that they are not familiar with!
I am very sorry if I come across as rude or uncaring sometimes. I don’t mean to at all. It’s often very difficult to answer questions and be friendly while trying to calm and attend to my kid’s needs and still remember what it is that we are out shopping for in the first place! I have a habit of tuning out distraction so that I can focus on the needs of the babies and sometimes it’s people that I am tuning out!
Please don’t take offense with me, I am only trying to take care of my kid’s and I really will try and answer any questions that I can once they are calmed and happy and safe!
Sure, people say don’t let anyone near your babies when they are tiny. What they don’t tell you is, that while people like to pinch the cheeks of babies when they are infants (singletons,) people feel the overwhelming need to not only crowd multiples, but touch them, feel them and do things to them that they normally wouldn’t do to even their own children.
I know it sounds mean. I know you want to see my cute adorable children. I understand that we are a novelty and that you have probably never seen a set of triplets before. Don’t get me wrong, I love to hear how precious and adorable and wonderful my kids are, really I do. But you have to understand a few things about us as well.
They are triplets. This means that they were carried together inside my small five foot three inch frame. It doesn’t look like that many babies could possibly fit inside my tummy, does it? You are right, they barely did fit and they didn’t fit for as long as a normal single baby would have fit, either.
This also means that they shared that space normally allocated for one baby to grow and they did it for a tiny bit past eight months. That shared space means that these babies grew at a good rate, but also grew at a rate that was determined by the space they had to grow inside of as well. This means that they are smaller when they are born and consequently are also not as developed as a single baby would be when born at the same time that mine were3.
Their very tiny, very cute bodies cannot fight disease as well as normal kids can because they were born early and smaller than most. This means that if you get too close, you may inadvertently give them something more than a friendly greeting. We know you mean well, and that your intentions are totally good, however they may get the sniffles, or even something worse from you if you touch them.
Its not that we find you diseased, please don’t feel as if we are treating you as if you had the plague. It’s just that when we get the sniffles, they may not go away for months on end and can give us a cough. That can lead to pneumonia or even an ear-ache or worse. They are very susceptible to disease and will remain this way until sometime after they turn two.
This past year, starting in September, we had to have a nurse come to our house and give us the synagis vaccine in hopes that it would prevent us from catching RSV, a respiratory disease that gives most people the sniffles, but could land us in the NICU if we are not careful. Although we have many friends from our month long stay in the NICU, we would rather visit them at the annual Christmas party or run into them at Wal-mart or Target than at their workplace! Luckily, our shots worked for us this year!
We really do enjoy talking to you and hearing about how cute the babies are. But they do sometimes get frightened if you get too close to them and forget that they don’t like loud noises or being crowded. They promise to try and be as cheery as they can be for you when you say, "Hi," but please remember that we get tired and cranky sometimes and cannot always be pleasant and chipper! The babies don't mean anything by it, really.
As long as you speak to them in a soft, pleasant voice, they will most likely respond in turn to you. If you are very lucky, they may even wave hello or bye-bye or even say something to you! Please remember that they are only one and often times will not talk or play with people that they are not familiar with!
I am very sorry if I come across as rude or uncaring sometimes. I don’t mean to at all. It’s often very difficult to answer questions and be friendly while trying to calm and attend to my kid’s needs and still remember what it is that we are out shopping for in the first place! I have a habit of tuning out distraction so that I can focus on the needs of the babies and sometimes it’s people that I am tuning out!
Please don’t take offense with me, I am only trying to take care of my kid’s and I really will try and answer any questions that I can once they are calmed and happy and safe!
Labels: crowds, multiples, noise, shopping, touching babies, triplet
posted by Mimi Rankin Webb at 4:28 PM
Mimi is the mother of four: a 12 1/2-year-old boy and 1-year-old triplets (two boys and one girl). She is very happily busy taking care of everyone, whether it's the triplets' multiple doctor appointments, attempting a shopping excursion or volunteering to plan her son's school renaissance festival.
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