Flogging Ted

The boys are back in the sandbox AGAIN! Funny part is, we don't even have a sandbox.

Maybe someone should try explaining that to them, because to date, I am just not getting very far with conveying that minor detail to them!

What my boys perceive as their own private sandbox is actually what the rest of us consider a FIREPLACE.

This hasn't stopped either of the baby boys from playing in it, however.

In fact, every time I try and explain myself to them about what a fireplace is actually for, I find myself basically talking to a bunch of munchkins that think I must surely be insane.

It's a sandbox. At least, they have been working super hard trying to give my poor fireplace quite a complex about possibly being one.

Yep, my fireplace has an identity crisis in the making. When they think nobody is watching, listening, or especially if whoever is on watch happens to have to go to the loo, the boys will their way into the fireplace.

Yesterday, they even managed to remove the very large, cumbersome, and extremely heavy fireplace fan from the hearth so they could have total access to the flue.

I wasn't even gone very long (potty emergency) and Kian and Kai had already managed to drag bits of log that they dug out of the soot, remove a goodly portion of soot that they didn't find particularly useful, and even bury bit of pirate treasure somewhere in there.

Don't worry, the weather is good, so there isn't any hope of a fire anytime in the near future, so their booty is safe...theoretically.

Today, they saw fit to play pirate and retrieve that buried treasure. It was done on the sly, as I was trying to get them out the front door to go and pick up big brother from school.

I wondered what was taking Kian so long to get to the door. Usually it is quite the rat race among the three of them.

But, here he came, running precariously down the hallway, arms full of all sorts of stuff.

It didn't dawn on me at first what the stuff was, or rather where it had come from, until I went to pick him up to put him into the van.

That's when I noticed that he was covered in a fine grey haze that seemed to hover around him much like "Pig-pen."

I picked him up, and got it all over me. Then I realized with growing dread, that he had included his most beloved Ted in his endeavors and somewhere along the way, Ted was covered in soot as well.

I managed to get everyone loaded up, and Ted isolated from his best friend. I was aghast at the thought that Ted really isn't supposed to be washed in the washing machine, but that I might have to try it.

It wasn't easy finding Ted and Teddy a sister Teddy for Vivienne for Christmas, so I KNOW that he isn't all that replaceable should he meet with an untimely demise.

So there I was, with Kian starting to whimper for his best friend Ted to come and ride with him in his carseat.

What's a Mum to do? I did the only thing that I could think of at the time. I dusted off the van seat where Kian had left a soot-cloud, and made sure that the sliding door shut behind me.

I took Ted out into the middle of the yard, and commenced to the only cleaning solution that I could think of on such short notice.

I flogged him. Yep, I beat him first right-side up, then head-side down. I beat him on each conceivable side.

Soot clouds puffed out of him with each and every strike. I felt so horrible, as I tried my best to shield my evil-doings from the three sets of very watchful and concerned eyes that watched me from their carseats.

But, Ted had to come clean somehow, and the thought of flogging him in the front yard seemed much more of a simple solution than risking disintegration and a most certain water-logged death in the washing machine.

I managed to get most of the soot, if not all of it off of Ted and his all of his shag and fuzziness.

A little soot still stains his red bow-tie, but for the most part, Ted survived his flogging.

I returned Ted to his rightful and most concerned owner and headed off to pick up Bregon at the Renzi Center.

I hope this incident may have helped the boys learn that the fireplace does NOT make a good sandbox...even if it was at Ted's expense.