Everybody Is Diaper Dancing

Diaper changing time at my house used to go so easily. Everyone took turns and it was nice and safe and predictable.

As I sit here writing, I am trying to figure out exactly what happened and where it all went wrong.

I know before, in the old house, the babies were all pretty much contained in their little play-yard like the Rugrats have on the cartoon.

Maybe that's why I never really had any trouble with it, they couldn't get out to get into anything, I suppose!

Now, though, it's a three ringed circus. I would call it the "Diaper Tango" but it's more like the "Diaper Menage a Trois" or something!

Imagine, if you will, three walking, talking tiny one year olds frolicking about in their very huge living room.

When Mum walks in, all eyes automatically lock on to her as some sort of target, and everything STOPS in the room as if someone has pushed a "Pause" button on the remote control.

After the pregnant pause is over, all three babies make their move for Mum at the same time, each with their own motive and idea of what they would like her to do with them, each thinking that the one is more important than the other two.

Mum can smell the need for a diaper change from the front hallway. The stench is wafting through-out the house, and she is heading for the diapers and wipes kept next to the television on the shelf out of harm's way.

Somewhere along the way, I get mobbed just trying to get my babies their diapers and wipes.

Then, I have to wade through the often crying, sometimes chattering babies to the sofa somehow without tripping or falling over anyone.

I don't have to stop and pick anyone up because they are literally already attaching themselves to me in various ways.

One will usually try and go for my shirt hem. Another baby prefers to try and grab my pants leg.

Usually, one of them will figure out where I am headed and why and head me off by running to the sofa and attempting an often unsuccessful vault up onto it.

By the time I am able to get everything over there, and try and sit down to assume the diaper changing position, babies are climbing up all over me or scaling the couch hand over hand using the slipcover as some sort of rope.

Meanwhile, sometimes Kai will run around to the back of the sofa with the idea that he can snatch the diapers and wipes over the back side of it while I am fielding the bodies of his siblings clamoring over each other to get to me.

Then I am faced with a moment of truth. Which baby do I change first? Should I tackle the one in my lap, or the one trying to sit on him for being there in the first place?

It's almost a game, trying to figure out which one is the ickiest and if that baby can wait til last to be changed because another sibling is far more overzealous in their struggle for attention.

I like to try and at least have the wipes out of the bag/container and separated and laid out alongside an OPEN diaper before diving in to the ick. Alas, that is not always the case.

Notice that I said that I PREFER this method...it's not often that I actually get to USE this method in application, though!

Once I lay one baby down and the other two realize that they aren't getting changed, one will try and climb up in my lap, usually.

Another will walk down the length of the sofa in an attempt to get to the much coveted container of wipes.

Did I mention that my babies have a very unnatural affinity for baby wipe packages?

Don't even get me started on the baby-crack affect that Huggies Natural cucumber & sweet pea scented wipes have on my children-Leo Bloom & his blankie come to mind from "The Producers."

They all want one and if they can snatch the coveted wipe, they will run away to a far corner of the living room to sniff it and rub their face with it shamelessly.

So, it's a fight to get to keep possession of the very supplies that one needs to actually successfully perform a diaper change at my house during changing time.

Then there is the personal space violation. Triplets are very good at invading each other's personal space, even from the beginning.

Remember the baby who likes to walk down the length of the couch to try and snag the diapers and the wipes off the back of it?

Let's remember that a sibling is already down on the couch waiting to be changed and is often in various stages of BEING changed and is undressed, often exposed to the world, when said sibling decides to WALK right over him/her with little regard for hair or head or even tummy.

It's quite common for them to step on each other when the one of them is down for the count.

It's not that Vivie won't feel sorry for you and try and comfort you after she steps all over you to steal your diaper that should have been placed on your nether regions.

Oh, no, after she makes a hat out of your diaper, she will come right back over and smooth your hair after her tiny toes have pulled it from being entangled in it while she walked all over you to procure her precious hat.

And she will even give you kisses even though her brother is quite sure that she is going to BITE him again after she did just that to try and get past him and in the race to the couch!

The sad thing is, they all do this to each other. Nobody is exempt from this behavior and I am all but helpless to prevent much of it.

I mean, I do try and keep the tiny mouths from actually latching on to skin, but I have two hands to their six. I am hopelessly outnumbered much of the time!

I even will catch the babies as they try and walk all over everyone and redirect them to the floor, much to their chagrin.

It's a continuous cycle of redirecting baby bodies to the floor and intercepting tiny mouths and hands as I try and actually change their siblings diapers.

Remember that I must also somehow get their pajamas or their clothes off to get to the dirty diaper.

Then, somehow, I must find a way to get that diaper open (and keep tiny hands out of it and from pinching, grabbing, or groping parts that really don't need to be.)

And then, I must try and get the dirty parts cleaned up all the while juggling siblings and trying to keep my supplies handy and not ingested!

It's a small wonder that anyone ever gets changed or cleaned up around my house!

Luckily, there haven't been any diaper dancing injuries to date, yet!