Phantom Fixations

One of the biggest Autism challenges that can come up deals in PERSEVERATION... At my house, this has been known to manifest itself in a myriad of ways. The subject matters with the most "Staying Power" have been wheels/cars/trains (they graduated into one-another, think of it as a sort of evolution/train of thought progression) and most recently the Titanic & Phantom of the Opera for Kaiden, with Kian's being first Piracy followed by Phantom & Titanic/Brittanic (they are triplets remember, but Vivienne adamantly tired of the Olympic early on) and most recently Doctor Who is creeping into the mix.

Remember, that these extreme fixations/focus involve the exploration of ALL aspects, good, bad & oftentimes gory but not limited to scientific aspects of these subject-matters. This means that they want to know EVERYTHING about these subjects...how they work, the history, invention of, the evolution of, the application of, and of course the movies relating to these things/people/events.

 The trick as a parent is finding a happy medium(there is good & bad to this)that can be tolerated by all in everyday life. How does one teach a child about non-child-friendly subject matter? THANK YOU National Geographic & History Channel...Travel Channel too...Imax is your friend...you find each & every documentary & show ever done on the subject is what you do...with the Titanic issue, James Cameron snuck footage into some of his documentaries that hawked his movie which I did NOT realize until it was too late & there were blue people floating accross my television screen that had to be explained...

Don't get me wrong, sometimes it's not so bad...your child is cute in their little pirate-themed attire playing with their little Fisher Price Pirate toys that somehow evolve into Captain Jack Sparrow etc...& that hat you bought at Party City or that Santa brought a few years ago really DOES have an indefinate lifespan (or in our case had BETTER have longevity) and looks almost as new as the day it came to live with us 5years ago this December (no joke it goes to school on hat days still...)

This means that Daddy gets to share Daddy-son time by building tiny models of the Titanic with boy boys-cute & invaluable memories, right? Great until you find yourself on Youtube watchin videos of people who have built similar models...cute until one of them turns up a design that breaks apart exactly the same as the real-deal only they show it sinking & the thought of a prized model/toy that has taken on the same meaning as a boy's Teddy Bear & it's shown sinking into water, ruining a perfectly good much loved toy...is heartbreaking & worthy of supersonic screaming as if one is being tortured...yeppers...not so cute anymore...

There are days when building a model can be a good experience...& then there are days when my living room is eaten up with a makeshift fixation of building Kaiden's very own amusement park & suddenly Makeshift-Disney has grown up & taken over faster than the real-deal did in Florida...or he decides he really MUST build the Paris Opera House & Daddy finds himself on a latenight run to Thrifty for boxes for Kai to try his hand at Parisian architecture which we know is doomed to fail-OCD/Perfectionism states it must be true to mind...which almost NEVER happens & results in meltdown...

For our Phantom fixation, the boys asked Santa for Phantom Action Figures...in typical kiddo fashion & in keeping with their triplet Titanic order (Olympic, Brittanic & Titanic, for 3) both boys wanted different versions of Phantom...the same yet different, just like they are...Here you can see the Stage Version of Phantom for Kian & the movie version for Kaiden-silent film of course!

You get the idea... Which brings me to today...Kian woke up and built a lego version of his mindseye view of the Paris Opera House...which in Kaiden's mind looks NOTHING like the real-deal (having tried building his out of cardboard, then out of legos already, he knows this isnt going to work.) Meltdown ERUPTS...expletives follow...interspersed critique of said lego building & tears from Kian began to fall...but were soon quelled with a heated discussion of the opera house sewer system...and Kaiden began to monologue on sewers & how they are underneath our city too...and how he wants to explore the real ones in Paris...coupled with a comparison of our own sewers...

I can see NO good coming of this...as we drove to school, he noted the location of every drain along the way...each window to our sewer...noting where the pipes drain into this ditch or that, seeing how the Ockley Street Bridge goes over the bayou where the sewer pipes drain rainwater...the wheels are turning, clicking, the mind is working and he wants to go exploring...

Meanwhile, I sit here documenting, and multitasking, searching in hopes of documentaries on the Paris sewer systems & maybe even the Opera house if I get lucky...in hopes it will quell the curiousity for another day, save me the worry of elopement manifesting itself in a very real possibility of a Kaiden-led sewer expedition...

Will anyone else understand should he go the extra mile? With autism you literally never know...you never know what is being thought...it can look like he wandered off, but in his mind it isn't wandering, it serves a purpose...will he venture out to explore, gosh I seriously SERIOUSLY hope not...

But in the meantime I have to plan as a Mother to try and divert his mind, give him something to do instead of want to go out...something to sate his quest for knowledge that is safe yet constructive, avoid the meltdowns, head off the elopement tendency...(think as an example something similar to how, when Kevin was "misplaced" in the "Home Alone" series & his mum knew exactly where he could be found-at that Christmas Tree...for Kaiden at the moment, the sewer would be his Christmas Tree, only far more dangerous.)

Since then, I've discovered an online Google interactive walk-thru tour of the Paris Opera House and other Paris landmarks.  It keeps them occupied and hopefully satisfies their quest for knowledge on the matter...I only wish it would explore the catacombs a bit more... I hope to have a host of documentaries found online ready to go...we have several Phantom based books with pictures that I've pulled out in hopes of appeasing him and his renewed Phantom Fixation!

Kian's New Mantra

I WILL NOT USE SISTER TO STOP MY MOMENTUM...repeat after me Kian...I will NOT use sister to stop myself while walking, running or even meandering...Yes, that's right, poor sweet, gentle Kian does have one teeny little (massive) issue...he is a medically certified KLUTZ...yes there is a term for it D*Y*S*P*R*A*X*I*A...what is it might you ask? Follow the link for more indepth information!

In our household, Kian has been in occupation therapy for the past year now...he landed himself there not because of his constant falling out of his chair, tripping on flat surfaces or even his ability to run into the same pole in the breezeway three times in one school year giving himself the SAME goose-egg on his forehead each & every time...but he scored therapy for his handwriting prowess... Kian has the superpower to warp a new crayon in a single homework problem (not assignment, but literally one tiny part!) It starts out as a nice straight color and by the time he has completed #1, that crayon has warped into a half circle or sometimes more! He inadvertantly breaks his pencil lead multiple times in a few minutes...he can knub a pencil in one afternoon...His toys lose hands, heads, arms & feet & he cannot figure out why...poor dear is distraught each & every accident...He cannot help it, he doesn't even realize he is doing it...& his most favourite things are NOT off limit... And last week...a week ago yesterday, actually...he had a potty emergency that turned into an ER emergency...not for himself, but for sister...much loved, best friend, she who takes care of him when nobody else is around (school) sister... He had to go potty (North going Zaks & South going Zaks have to meet eventually as it turns out) & she innocently was headed down the hallway to the kitchen trashcan to throw something away... Kian sped down the hallway as he is known to do, always waiting until the last minute to go potty (in some cases he cannot tell IF he has to even go until that last minute & only goes some types of potty on Wednesdays & Sundays, no joke) & being unable to stop his momentum (cooridination issue) he did the only thing he knows to do in such cases and used sister to stop himself in an attempt to basically make the corner & turn into the bathroom doorway...

Sister being in stockings, was NOT prepared to be used as a stopping-point and slipped & fell face-forward onto the hardwood floor...her chin caught the brunt of the blow as the bathroom door slammed shut behind Kian, who had been successfull in his plight/flight...he didnt even realize what had happenned until he came out of the bathroom...& when he did...he was MORTIFIED... I heard the bathroom door slam shut and the horrible thud that resulted from Baby Vivienne falling to the floor...I ran into the hallway thinking that she had managed to slam her hand in the door somehow...she was on the floor shaking & her hands were clenched in this odd manner to back up my theory... Then I saw the blood-puddles...just as husband made it down the hallway to her from the opposite direction...she moved her hand away from her chin & the deluge began... Oddly enough, we had seen something similar before...Kian had basically managed the same exact chin-gash wound about 2yrs back while on a Disney Trip (his was pool-playground related though & not full face to the hardwood floor like this one, though.) I grabbed a clean washcloth from the bathroom, Kian ran to the living room where we later found him curled up in the recliner under his blanket crying his little eyes out with his Ted, mortified over what had just happened & quite ashamed of himself, and husband in the meantime picked up the bleeding Beautiful Baby Vivienne and carried her to our bed where I met them with that washcloth to try & stop some of the bleeding & assess the situation... It was just as suspected, a huge chin-gash that ran the length of her very tiny chin...something no bandaid could handle-it would be the ER for us... A few hours later, and seven stitches, we were headed home with a very wan, very worrie Baby Vivienne who kept lamenting the demise of her most loved beautiful chin... She should be in pain after all of this, but all she can do is worry about if she looks pretty...she obviously doesn't FEEL pretty, poor little dear...but her Daddy had run to Wally-world & acquired a feel-better-soon present so she was already feeling better... Being Labor Day weekend, we couln't just run to the rest of the Doctors to check everything out & had to wait until Tuesday...first we needed to check on those bottom teeth (Kian had loosened 4 in his fall & her bottom adult tooth was a tad wiggly.) Our dentist was booked solid until Thursday, oh my... Next we headed off to our pediatrician to check out her jaw...it was now squeaky & creaky & popping...coupled with a warning from our ENT in April, we already feared something else was up in there to begin with, so we landed a referral to a specialist to check everything out... Kian needed a check-out to head to his Occupational Therapy appointment after all of this...we did NOT want to miss this after the incident that happened on Monday, as he obviously needed help with is klutziness & we had hoped for new exercises or SOMETHING... Sadly, we were met with a short therapy session for Kian, then a meeting with the Therapist...she RELEASED him after all of this...said he was on target, doing fine, & that I was doing soo much with him at home that he didn't NEED her anymore...even with example A sitting right there with her fractured jaw & 7 stitches & one heck of a bandaid on her chin (it was HUGE or rather her face is rather small) she still released him from therapy...so no more supports there for Kian...we must muddle through this on our own...using only our bible book-set of Carol Kranowitz's "Out of Sync Child" books & the referral to order some sort of "Sensory Diet" cards to use for both baby boys at home...insert one very stressed & worried Mum HERE! By Thursday, we had Baby Vivienne's teeth checked out & cleared as going to be okay, so it was off to that specialist...panaramic x-rays...and while we waited we had a visit from our favourite Groundskeeper, our Chuck!!! Our trip to the specialist revealed a definite diagnosis of the feared TMJ that explained the ongoing "Ear infection" that never resolved with surgical tubes that had been placed a year before...ouch! Those x-rays revealed (in spite of much giggling & a very blue Baby Vivienne c/o one very tiny blue dum-dum of a lollipop) that there is in fact a slight fracture in her baby-girl jaw...oh NO!

So off to the orthodontist for us to find out how best to treat her TMJ and her open bite deformity which also was revealed... In the meantime, Saturday early we ventured to our pediatrician (did we mention how much we love her & her wonderful staff who works us in no matter what is going on?) where we had our stitches removed! That ER doctor did the most wonderful careful job EVER...Baby Vivienne could finally see that her chin was going to be okay!!! It's Tuesday now, and her chin looks like a million dollars...no joke...very VERY minimal scarring...it's very white not pink...hooray!!! very thin tiny line after only 1 wk (such a far cry from what poor Kian went through after only having been glued back together for his chin-gash) yet we still must find very soft foods and warm compresses for Baby Vivienne... Her teeth must be allowed to tighten up more (keep your fingers crossed as she is terrified of the thought of losing her Adult Teeth) and her jaw is still quite painful between the healing fracture, the popping & squeaking it is doing, and the existing TMJ...but she is relishing the idea that her beautiful chin is still in fact BEAUTIFUL! In the meantime, poor Kian cannot stop following her around saying, "I'm Sorry...I'm Sorry" over & over & over again every time he thinks of it which is quite often, poor baby! He feels soo sad over the incident & it doesn't help that Vivienne isn't very understanding...she knows he didn't do it on purpose, she knows he cannot help his Klutziness...but still cannot stop talking it out outloud where he can hear her which starts the whole "I'm Sorry" routine all over again! So here we are, Vivienne on the mend, & Kian practicing "I will NOT use Sister to stop myself..."