A Multiples Survey-Tis A Bloggie Thing! pt1

What is your first name? Mimi

In what state do you live? Louisiana

How old are you? 33 (34 in August!)

Age when you where pregnant with your multiples? 32

Were your multiples your first pregnancy? Nope! 2nd & LAST!

How many children do you have? 4

How did you come up with the names for your multiples? Very, Very Carefully! See blog, "The Naming of Triplets!"

What is your profession (if you're still working)? If you are now a stay-at-home mom, what did you do before? I WAS a Customer Service Supervisor for Budget Phone (a locally owned yet national pre-paid home phone service) now I am a stay @home mum who writes independently for the stage!

Are your triplets fraternal, identical or questionable? ALL multiples are questionable! Hence the survey! Mine are fraternal!

Were your multiples spontaneous or Fertility treatments? Spontaneous! If your multiples were spontaneous, were you surprised? Anyone who isn’t surprised is FIBBING!!!

How did you tell your spouse/partner that you having more than one baby on the way? I had to provide proof positive (ultra-sound pics) EVERYONE thought I was joking!!

If you had fertility treatments with your pregnancy, were you surprised that you were expecting multiples? n/a

How did your spouse/partner react?What kind of fertility treatments did have? n/a

If IVF how many eggs did you have put back in you? n/a

How many cycles?n/a

How long were you trying for a baby? n/a

When did you discover you were carrying multiples? At about 9 weeks

When did you start to show? At about 3 months- I conceived in early August and was showing by the first weekend of October-so it doesn’t take long!!!

Did you have bad morning sickness? Any tips? Oh yes- its quite unavoidable with multiples- somebody ALWAYS finds your stomache in their way or uses it as a pillow or a hidey hole!- I allowed myself to get sick ONCE and it was SO bad (I couldn’t breath) that I never allowed myself to do it again- Your OB should allow you some sort of antacid that will help a little (not much mind you but any relief is welcome!) and after you get so far along that your kids are active, I had to cut back to basic bland foods because anything more would make me sick! Its not easy ESPECIALLY when you are trying to GAIN weight, not LOSE it!

Were you tired all of the time, and how long did it last? Ha ha ha ha ha ha- that’s funny- my body would get tired and just stop & shut down- I would lie down to rest & find that my mind was perfectly awake & ready to play! It’s a weird sensation really- you get used to knowing when to slow down and when your body is just going to say NOPE your down lie down! & its pretty much just like that too- you just have to adapt & go with that flow til you deliver!

Did you have to get a bigger car? I NEED to get a bigger car- but haven’t as of yet- we have a car- that will seat 5-we are a family of 6 – so we don’t go anywhere as a family unless we take 2 cars- which isn’t fun- something will have to happen soon though, because they are fast outgrowing their babyseats and will need the bigger versions very very SOON!!!

When did you first felt movement with your multiples? Very early, but remember this was my second pregnancy so I knew what to expect! I was feeling them around the time of my first ultrasound really- and they wouldn’t even stop moving even when they were out of room!

Did you see a specialist during your multiple pregnancy? Of course! Dr Lewis who is wonderful! Of course he probably thinks I am crazy, but oh well, he can always write it off as pregnancy hormones!

If so when & why? He doesn’t see you til you are @ least 3 months to ensure that the pregnancy is viable (if its going to miscarry it most likely will have terminated by this time) and I had to because there were 3 munchkins fighting for space in there!!!!

How often did you see your Dr after you found out you were carrying more than 1? Hee hee hee- It seemed like I was going ALL THE TIME! At first I alternated seeing my OB & specialist twice a month, then we went to twice a month on the specialist & once a month on the OB, then near the end I was seeing them weekly, then twice a week the last month when NOBODY could figure out how it was that I was still pregnant! (not very reassuring to hear that one from your doctors!)

How often did you have ultrasounds? Every time I went to see my specialist! Which seemed like all the time! I got where I dreaded my biophysical profiles because my kids would plot & plan for them and hold their breath & all (yes we caught them actually doing just that!)

How much weight were you told to gain during your pregnancy? Ha ha that’s a funny one- well he said 100 lbs by January (6months) because after that I would be fighting the growth spurts and the shear size factor pushing on my stomache-ASK ME IF I MADE THIS GOAL? Um no I didn’t

How much did you actually gain? 23-25 lbs tops- why? Not because I didn’t TRY to eat- (was taken to Superior every Saturday til I was 32 weeks & just couldn’t make the walk from the car to the table then it was delivered to me) also would go to tacobell & order something high in protein(beans) and calorie just to try & get something in there- didn’t work- yes I actually LOST weight while pregnant with triplets- it was very strange…

When did you find out the babies sexes? In December- when I was a little over 5 months along- 2 of em were open about it-my daughter did have to be held in place by 2 people to see, but meanwhile, Kai got his feelings hurt over not being first(he HAS to be first ALWAYS or he pouts bigtime) so he actually turned his back on them when they went to look at him- and stayed that way for 2 whole weeks- but by the 12th we knew who he was! Plus that he was a severe pouter! & still is!

Did you read any books about being pregnant with multiples? Tried to- have the two books in town that I could find about the subject- did better on the internet scouring people’s homepages about their experiences with their own multiples -& the discovery channel has a multiples baby pregnancy show that was helpful..

What books did you read about pregnancy when you were pregnant? Twins,triplets & more & dr luke’s what to expect w/ higher order multiples(not the name of it but is yellow book that is along that lines) neither are very helpful really… because EVERY multiple pregnancy is different in some way so all you can do is scare yourself into understanding that you have to go it alone & must wing it! But it sets the standard for what happens after delivery!!!

Did you go on bed rest? Heck yes!

If so when, why, and how long? Mandatory @ 5 months exactly & it was a bit too tardy for my taste! Tried to work thru to the end of it & had issues @ work!

What did you do while you were on bed rest? I made my own rules based on my body-(not for everyone-you have to be very disciplined to do this)you have to really understand when your body is saying its done & must rest now! I read books, did carpool til the Friday before I delivered(my one daily outing for 30 minutes!) I went to Superior every Saturday for lunch with my daddy til my body wouldn’t allow me to walk from the car to the table then it was delivered to me!) I went shopping for small increments with a friend or my son who could help me put together my little handicapped cart(motorized) –if you can borrow one of those for your bedrest do it! It really helps especially if your on bedrest during Christmas season like me! I also watched the discovery health channel baby baby shows about multiples,scoured the internet for stories by people like me! And lurked on the triplet connection forum! Tried to find a multiples program locally to no avail- did talk to someone who had middle school aged triplets- but it had been awhile!

How hard was it to move after 30 weeks. Ha ha ha ha ha- I am one of those who did whatever I had to do when I needed to do it! So it wasn’t easy walking the 10 feet to the bathroom from the couch, but I did it- of course it hurt- I never stopped doing things even when it hurt-I drove myself to all my dr appts by myself up til the end- I did carpool for my son & niece until the Friday before I delivered(scheduled for the next Monday!) I helped assemble my nursery and oversaw the massive last cleaning o the house prior to delivery! So its hard to move, but I did what I had to do!

A Multiple Survey-Tis a Bloggie Thing! part 2

If your babies were preemie, why did you deliver early? No more room at the inn!!! I was not allowed to carry them ANY FURTHER & nobody could figure out how it was that I got to that point in the first place because I am short & not all that big physically!

Vaginal or C-section? C-section!
By your choice or the Doctor’s? I wasn’t feeling suicidal! You have to have c-section with triplets if you want to survive & have 3 babies to show for it!

Did your babies spend time in the NICU? yes

If so, why & how long was their stay? One was in 3 weeks (they thought sending one home with me to get me acclimated was being nice- ha ha ha ha ha ha- so I hauled one up to visit his siblings for another week- total stay in nicu was a month! Or rather just under amonth- they had to learn to eat & show that they were consistently growing-no real problems other than reflux & the phantom pda!

Any advice how to handle it? Nobody can prepare you for it really-watching the discovery channel can prepare you for what to expect to have your kids look like with tubes & wires coming out of them, and will show you that its normal, but when its your babies with the tubes & wires nothing can help the shock of it-you just have to take it all in stride really- and adapt- try to be nice to the bearers of less than exciting news in the nicu- they cant help it- & they know its hard- you can work with these peoples though!

What were their stats (lb/oz & inches) when they were born? Mine were between 17-18 inches long & the boys were 4lbs 5oz each & my daughter was 3lbs 15oz and the smallest of the 3-all were healthy enough-vivie always measured 2weeks smaller than her brothers and grew accordingly-so she stayed in longer-kian would stay & keep her company! Plus she charmed them all into thinking her a tiny delicate flower and had them all treating her like a china-doll which may have kept her in longer! Had to convince them that she was ok & to GIVE HER GROCERIES!!! She was only allowed the bottle the week of discharge & at my demand…no real reasoning for it which was annoying!

Did you have "help" after you have them and how long and who "helped" you out? Um, NOPE it was just me & my immediate family-son & husband- my daddy is too busy with my nieces & nephew that he is raising & couldn’t help me for obvious reasons!- I don’t have a mum or grandmum anymore that could help! Fresh out of those! But I always figured that if I cant do it myself, I don’t deserve them! So we all manage & so far so good! They are 14 months & doing great! & I still have hair!

Did your multiples have any medical problems after they were born? Typical preemie problems-developed reflux-they thought they had heart murmurs, the boys just wanted the special attention sister got for hers(which closed by itself anyways) and they all got the special reflux treatment(which to them meant a cool ride in their very own crib w/ wheels filled with fresh out of the dryer blankies to a room where you got to have an extra special bottle(of barium but they didn’t know better) and they took pictures of you to commemorate how cute you are! Yes my kids acted as if it was some sort of royal treatment-kai even drank his barium so fast he spewed it all over the crew!

Did you breastfeed of bottle feed? Bottle feed-some people say they can breastfeed higher order multiples, I just was not one of those people..

Any complications? Mine didn’t get a bottle til after about a week..

Any advice on breastfeeding? I don’t advise it with higher order multiples because of sheer time needed to feed everyone- I felt that if I had, I wouldn’t have been doing ANYTHING else but that all day, everyday which would have prevented me being able to take care of my trio by myself. There are people out there who do & swear by it though.

What items do you recommend for a mommy-to-be of multiples? A nanny? Just kidding- co-bed them as long as you can (they like it & will tell you when they are ready to be on their own) you will want one of those play-yards that are like octagon gates connected together-use a quilt or sheet for flooring it! You will want 3 bouncy seats DEFINATLY the more stuff it does the better-you can even have the kids start solids in them. We had 3 swings(start with one & see who likes it-you might get away with only one or 2) if you have room an exersaucer for each once they can stand on their own is great for snacktime & containment! But be careful, preemies seem to be smaller than everyone else LONGER and mine are stronger and can pull themselves out of their walkers & exersaucers-one can even tip his all the way over w/ the brakes on-you really have to watch that!

What are some things you consider Must Have items for new mommies of multiples?boppy pillow for feeding in your lap(saves your back) and if you have more than one, you can put a blanket over it and prop your babies in it as infants while you hold the bottles for them and feed @ least 2 at once-see my blog for more info on how to feed all 3 at once! I figured that out too for emergency’s!

What are some items you found completely useless with your multiples? We rarely used our bumbo –others swear by them though- we didn’t use the baby mittens- oh –I hated the baby bathtub-I found something that looks like a mesh bouncy seat that can fold up flat, and it goes in the big bathtub- it can sit up or recline to accommodate even very small baby’s & has a head do-nut attachment for babies- this was the best way to bathe mine in the big bathtub- I could just lay them in it one @ a time and use BOTH hands to be able to wash them quickly-I found it easier- hmm- we did manage to find uses for almost EVERYTHING – except the Johnny jump up that attaches to the doorframe-we live in an old house & the clamp wont fit our doors at all-its too small- we did better with the freestanding ones!

What items were you glad you had multiples of? Blankies! Exersaucers, swings, BOUNCY SEATS !!! feeding booster chairs are a must-can stack in the corner, or tether to a chair and also can travel in the trunk to grandpa’s house! You want the play-yard with the EXTENSION set too- the regular size just isn’t big enough for 3 growing babies who need space to learn to sit, roll & walk!

What items do you feel you wasted money on by buying more than one of? You can never have too much of anything with multiples! Buy lots of unisex colored footed pj’s! that way it doesn’t matter who wears what(which doesn’t matter unless you have to take em in public for some reason in them & then people stare at you funny!) we did manage to find uses for most everything even if it was unconventional uses!

What kind of stroller do you have (one behind other or side by side)? Oh one behind the other is a must- you cant get anywhere in that one anyways because its soo long- cant imagine having a side by side one! Although you cant take the long ones into Disneyworld-but the side by sides can go-go figure! I have a Breckenridge & a runabout.

Do you dress you multiples alike? Co-coordinating usually –the boys will be matching or at least similar-& my daughter will wear something that goes along with the set- ex.- if the boys are wearing denim she will wear her girly denim- they blend more than anything!!!

Do they have "set" colors? Not for clothes- their blankets & bottles & sippy cups do have set colors-it stems from the need to know who gets what meds dosage & who had how much to eat as babies!

What was the sleeping arrangement for your multiples? Did they share one crib, have separate bassinets or sleep together in a pack n play? We co-bedded together in bed for the first 3 months, using the other bed as a changing table till the day when my daughter let us know she was moving out by rolling over after a diaper change and going straight to sleep in her butterfly beddy-bye! Then the boys stayed together until they were nearly a year- I had a heck of a time finding another bed (Wal-Mart was out of the matching kind & I sent garage saling in hopes of finding one- turned up @ a consignment sale!) they did share a pack&play for naps at first & when traveling it worked short term @ 5 months!

What was nursery room theme? Butter yellow! Vivie had butterfly bedding and the boys had a blue & white quilt set with cars & plans & trykes on it! Very very cute! But no real theme!

What do you like most about being pregnant or being the mommy of multiples? Pregnancy was a huge learning experience about myself & what I was capable of doing discipline wise- I was told that I couldn’t do a lot of things like carry them to my set term date & I set my own goals & met them even overcoming contractions to stay at home on bed rest & not end up in the hospital & still keep the babies safe! Being a mommy of multiples is the best- it’s a challenge, but it’s the most rewarding thing I have ever done or ever will achieve!

What do you like the least? I hate the way people look at us when we are out & say ugly things like, better you than me, or when they look at the kids & say "I’m sorry" –that really upsets me that my kids will one day understand that these people are being negative towards them when in fact these kids are very special in that they were very very hard to come by & even harder to carry to term & I want them to know that their mommy & daddy wanted them more than anything in the world & went to great lengths to make sure that they were born healthy & were taken care of to ensure that they would grow up healthy & well- and that these people just don’t understand us… I really wish people would think about what they are saying before they say it- my kids are getting to the age when they can sense that what is said isn’t always positive…

Did you join a local multiple group? Tried to- but there isn’t any active locally- am working on that though! I am trying to help as many moms of multiples as I can find because there isn’t much info out there on how to do this! People tend to either not have time to write about it or keep it a secret!

Any pregnancy after your multiples? Nope, they are the END! Had myself fixed-body couldn’t do it again!! I nearly didn’t make it after delivery!

Would you like multiples again? Wouldn’t trade mine for the world, would do it again if given a do-over I wouldn’t change a thing- but again, no- I couldn’t guarantee that they would have a mummy after delivery & that wouldn’t be fair to them or my current kids!

What is your "favorite" thing people say to you when they find your were expecting multiples? You’re joking!

What is your come back, if any? Uh, nope-have the pictures to prove it!

What is your "favorite" thing people say to you when they see you have multiples? I think it’s neat that they say I’m their hero- especially when it’s a mom of a singleton who says they are having trouble-

What is your come back, if any? I always thank them & try to let them know that we are really both in the same boat- we go through the same things (just I have it triple & don’t know any better!) and try to give advice if she needs it!

How long did it take to get your baby back to "normal" after you had you multiples? My 12 year old isn’t normal yet! Triplets change EVERYTHING- I sometimes worry that he feels embarrassed by us at times- but we try to be open about it & talk about it & I try to avoid situations that would cause embarrassment for him!

Any other advice for an expecting mom of multiples? Listen to your body and do what you KNOW feels right- drink your water (not soda) and relax and understand that if you learn to just go with the flow now, you will be more prepared to handle your babies once they get here! And will be less prone to being stressed out by things that others would normally go over the edge over!

Post a picture of your family:

Touchie-Feelie or Please Don't Play With the Babies!

Sometimes I feel like I should write a manual on outings with multiples. I should call it, "The Art of Crowd Control." I know it sounds like some presumptuous celebrity, but truly it’s necessary. Its one of those tiny well kept secrets that nobody tells you when you find out that you are pregnant with triplets.

Sure, people say don’t let anyone near your babies when they are tiny. What they don’t tell you is, that while people like to pinch the cheeks of babies when they are infants (singletons,) people feel the overwhelming need to not only crowd multiples, but touch them, feel them and do things to them that they normally wouldn’t do to even their own children.

I know it sounds mean. I know you want to see my cute adorable children. I understand that we are a novelty and that you have probably never seen a set of triplets before. Don’t get me wrong, I love to hear how precious and adorable and wonderful my kids are, really I do. But you have to understand a few things about us as well.

They are triplets. This means that they were carried together inside my small five foot three inch frame. It doesn’t look like that many babies could possibly fit inside my tummy, does it? You are right, they barely did fit and they didn’t fit for as long as a normal single baby would have fit, either.

This also means that they shared that space normally allocated for one baby to grow and they did it for a tiny bit past eight months. That shared space means that these babies grew at a good rate, but also grew at a rate that was determined by the space they had to grow inside of as well. This means that they are smaller when they are born and consequently are also not as developed as a single baby would be when born at the same time that mine were3.

Their very tiny, very cute bodies cannot fight disease as well as normal kids can because they were born early and smaller than most. This means that if you get too close, you may inadvertently give them something more than a friendly greeting. We know you mean well, and that your intentions are totally good, however they may get the sniffles, or even something worse from you if you touch them.

Its not that we find you diseased, please don’t feel as if we are treating you as if you had the plague. It’s just that when we get the sniffles, they may not go away for months on end and can give us a cough. That can lead to pneumonia or even an ear-ache or worse. They are very susceptible to disease and will remain this way until sometime after they turn two.

This past year, starting in September, we had to have a nurse come to our house and give us the synagis vaccine in hopes that it would prevent us from catching RSV, a respiratory disease that gives most people the sniffles, but could land us in the NICU if we are not careful. Although we have many friends from our month long stay in the NICU, we would rather visit them at the annual Christmas party or run into them at Wal-mart or Target than at their workplace! Luckily, our shots worked for us this year!

We really do enjoy talking to you and hearing about how cute the babies are. But they do sometimes get frightened if you get too close to them and forget that they don’t like loud noises or being crowded. They promise to try and be as cheery as they can be for you when you say, "Hi," but please remember that we get tired and cranky sometimes and cannot always be pleasant and chipper! The babies don't mean anything by it, really.

As long as you speak to them in a soft, pleasant voice, they will most likely respond in turn to you. If you are very lucky, they may even wave hello or bye-bye or even say something to you! Please remember that they are only one and often times will not talk or play with people that they are not familiar with!

I am very sorry if I come across as rude or uncaring sometimes. I don’t mean to at all. It’s often very difficult to answer questions and be friendly while trying to calm and attend to my kid’s needs and still remember what it is that we are out shopping for in the first place! I have a habit of tuning out distraction so that I can focus on the needs of the babies and sometimes it’s people that I am tuning out!

Please don’t take offense with me, I am only trying to take care of my kid’s and I really will try and answer any questions that I can once they are calmed and happy and safe!

The Most Helpful Resources According to Me!

I quickly found out that there are very few helpful resources out there for mothers who are pregnant with multiples and even for those same mother’s after delivery. Locally, the multiples support groups are pretty much dissolved due to lack of interest.

I scoured the web looking for contact information on anything in my area and came up with only dead-ends save for the one lady who was kind enough to at least let me know that the chapter she had headed had been dissolved due to lack of membership interest.

I did run across several television programs on the Discovery Channel that were very helpful. I had quickly realized through my research online that no two multiples pregnancies are alike, hence the lack of consistent information. I did find that watching these programs about other women experiencing complications of every imaginable combination did help me learn what to watch for with my own body. Ironically, I never did run across one show or website account that came even close to my own experience with my pregnancy and my triplet’s birth.

I had been one of those mother’s who had planned on working until I was physically unable to work anymore, however being pregnant with multiples resulted in my body appearing near full-term pregnant by the time I was required by my physician to take my leave at five months due to mandatory bed rest orders. This meant that I felt as if I was almost full term as well!

I did learn a valuable lesson when it came time to take my maternity leave from my job of nearly six years. It would appear that very few employers understand anything surrounding leave taking or even have any type of policies in place involving multiple/extremely high-risk pregnancies. They weren’t prepared for me to have to limit my physical activity so very soon nor were they prepared for me to have to wear my maternity clothing as earlier than most expectant mothers. You need to be very careful and document everything when initiating your maternity leave because of this!

While on bed rest, I found several websites that had some helpful information. One is for "Preemie Magazine" http://www.preemiemagazine.com/ which provides information for anyone who is having or has a preemie. It has information on what to expect during your NICU stay and how to manage your child’s healthcare and be your child’s advocate while in the hospital. It also has a forum where preemie issues are discussed and people can talk about what they have gone through and get support and information not normally discussed elsewhere as most people find the subject matter taboo.

Another invaluable site for mothers having or who have had multiples is "The Triplet Connection" http://www.tripletconnection.org/. This site of course is primarily for people with triplets but also allocates for twins as well as higher order multiples. Here I found all sorts of helpful things on life with my multiples and I was able to plan everything based on the advice of people who had been where I was and were where I was headed! You can also meet people who are selling triplet equipment which isn’t something that can be bought at the corner store! I found it a wonderful starting place for me and I still refer to it and browse their forum every so often.

Of course, your doctor will be able to give you some information, however they won’t be able to give you advice on feeding or clothing or even differentiating between your multiples! All you can really do is read as much as you can and talk to as many moms like you as you can find and try to be creative!

I have to say, even with all of these resources, nothing could have prepared me for what happened after I checked into the labor and delivery unit at my hospital. But the information and research did help me stay focused on my goals which was recovering from my delivery as fast and as best as I could so that I could work towards getting my children home and starting our new life together as a family!

Can You Feed Three Babies At Once?

While you are pregnant, you find yourselves daydreaming of the day when you will get to hold your baby and rock him or her and feed them…When you are pregnant with more than one baby, you find yourself wondering how this is all going to work.

As it turns out, there really isn’t too much out there on exactly how to achieve this seemingly impossible task. It would seem that the people who really know aren’t admitting to how exactly they do this. I can understand why, too. All the doctors tell you not to prop the bottle during every well baby exam, and the NICU nurses all have people who are there to specifically help with feedings. So the big question arises, how is it done?

While in the hospital, my husband and I would make sure and make every possible feeding of our trio that was humanly possible with regards to our twelve year old son and his school schedule. I would get up each day and make the early feeding, run have lunch, then come back for the babies lunch feeding. Then I would hold them each in turn and love on them and tell them stories of what we had been doing when we weren’t with them until it was time for their tea-time feeding.

I would insist on the nurses NOT helping me with these feedings so that they babies would get used to taking turns when it was feeding time. That way I could learn which was the hungriest and which ones could wait a bit before eating. They would be spoiled for dinner when my husband, son and I would all be there to feed and hold them before lock-out time occurred(bath time and shift change where they would have a few hours sans parents to do whatever was needed uninterrupted.)

This practice did help establish more patience in my trio. But there were times when it was impossible to stick to my own rules. I had learned from one of my nurses who also had triplets, that she had these pillows that had bib type necks on them that would allow you to stick a bottle on the pillow and secure it with a bit of elastic sewn across the bottom of the pillow and you fastened that whole contraption around the babies necks while they sat in their bouncy seats. These pillows can be purchased at Burlington Coat Factory baby department for about $12 + tax and although they do offer a multiples discount if you buy three of the same item, you do have to demand it at checkout and it does get expensive. I opted not to buy these because of cost and our reflux issues.

There are also some that look like hair scrunchies with beanbag type stuff in the bottom to make a sort of pillow-the bottle goes through the middle and the pillow part supports the bottle resting on your child’s chest while they eat. Mine had reflux so this wasn’t an option for us.

I quickly found out that the boys had this intense rivalry between them and sometimes as very young babies they demanded to be fed at the same time which can be done. You just lay them on the bed side by side and support their heads with a blanket or with your leg, whichever is easier for you and the kids. Then since you have two hands you can hold a bottle for each baby while they eat. I have seen some moms of twins who can burp their babies at the same time but I am not that sort of mom. I have always had a fear of dropping my squirmy baby!

What happens when all three are demanding food at the same time? Do you let one cry it out while the other two get to eat blissfully? Nope, there is a way to feed all three. This worked when they were very young and tiny(keep in mind mine were extra small being six weeks early and stayed that way for awhile.)

I sat in the middle of my bed with each of the babies. Arrange two of them right in front of you while you sit cross-legged. Place them where one baby’s head is right in front of one knee and the other is laid directly opposite with its head next to his sibling’s feet. Place the remaining baby in your lap, supporting its head with your knee a bit raised.

You will have to first place the bottle in the mouth of the baby in your lap, supporting the end of it with your chest (yes it can be done, you must lean into this a little to get the right angle.) This should leave your other two hands free to hold the bottles for the other two babies all at the same time(your arms will be crossed and if you cannot support the third bottle with your chest, you may be able to support it with one of your arms that should be at the right level for just such a task!) I know it sounds bizarre and a little acrobatic, but it worked for me many a time.

You can also use boppy pillows covered with a blanket to support the babies while you hold their bottles if you can’t get them to your bedroom for a feeding. But I never could find a way to feed that third baby when they were propped in their boppy’s.

Now, my triplets are eating finger foods and last staged baby food and don’t require any balancing act to feed them their bottles. In fact, they are mostly on sippy cups save for that very first and very last feeding of the day. The bottles are really very nearly phased out. We have three little feeding chairs that can either be tethered to a chair at the dinner table or arranged on the floor in a half circle so that the kids can interact over dinner(this also allows them to share when no-one is looking!) They are almost ready for a happy meal-in fact my twelve year old has suggested a trip to McDonalds to try and land us a set of the Shrek triplet toys and introduce the triplets to the wonderful world of ketchup. Oh boy, where has the time gone?

Organization???

Something happens to a mom when they have multiples. I don’t remember exactly when it happened, or exactly how, but I suddenly found myself an organized mom. Not that I wasn’t organized before I had the triplets, I had to have been, or was to a point.

It’s just that now I am super-organized. I have all these folders full of my maternity benefits and leave information, medical insurance and Medicaid benefit forms, middle school application process forms and school related information, and several that are full of nothing but health claim information and medical bills for me and the triplets. I save everything related to medical bills and claims and copy those things that I cannot save.

I have even learned to micro-manage our health claim information, something I never dreamed would be necessary. I now appear to know more about claim processing than the representatives with my insurance company who have to hear from me almost every Friday to ensure that my triplet’s health claims are processed correctly and don’t slip through those pesky cracks.

At some point, I learned how to schedule my day and that of my triplets, managing to keep them all on the same schedule that they originally came home from the hospital with. I am one of those moms who can actually make appointments and lunch dates around that schedule, knowing exactly how my kids will be temperament-wise at a given moment. Sometimes I wonder, how did it all come to this? When did this happen? My eldest wasn’t ever on any sort of schedule and it never occurred to me that I would find myself with one now!

I actually bought five sets of three multi-colored bottles each so that we could know which baby had what amount of formula. We would know which bottle had which meds measured into them for each baby and I even went as far as to place them in a certain order in the fridge that would make dosage times a no-brainer. How in the heck did I manage to come up with that one? I’ll never know because it’s something I just did and luckily, it worked!

Sometimes I look in that mirror and I don’t recognize that Mom even though it’s my own reflection. People ask me how I do it, and I never know what to say. The truth is, I don’t really know. I just do whatever it is that I have to do to get my children safely through their day with my sanity in tact (or mostly!) I have learned to let things go that I just cannot always get to like the dishes or the vacuuming. Hopefully, I will remember to show my twelve-year old how to do some of these things…but I do forget.

I have had to learn that its ok to do things when I can and understand that sometimes things just have to go by the wayside. I have had to learn not to care what other people think of me because of this. All I can do is sit back and enjoy this wonderful ride of a lifetime!

A Silly Triplet Joke!

Here is a silly triplet joke that I ran across on “The Triplet Connection” forum. I bet you might get a good laugh!

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said that he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her simply to mail him a postcard and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin.

One day, about eight months later, he came home to his confused wife. “Honey,” she said, “You received a very strange postcard today.”

“Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it,” he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written, “Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.”

I am so glad that my husband didn’t pass out when I broke the triplet news! It was so funny, because if I hadn’t had the ultrasound pictures to prove it, nobody would have ever believed me. They had all honestly thought that I was joking with them.

Of Midol, Bomb Threats, and Doodles, Oh My!

This school year has been the most eye-opening of all since my little boy started school when he was four years old. I find myself a pretty tolerant mother, one who does her best to work with my child’s teachers toward educating my child.

I have overlooked the glaringly large lettered sign on the door of the four-year-old early childhood development class that stated, “This is a noisy learning environment” when my child was sent to the office for talking in class at the age of four. I supported that teacher and spoke with my little boy about talking in class even though the sign and the class teaching method was supposed to encourage talking as a means of communication at an early age.

I supported his first grade teacher who found that he had mastered the first grade materials in the effort to get him work that was more challenging for him so that he wouldn’t sit in the back of the room and make pencil people and amuse himself otherwise only to run up against that brick wall of a principal who found his behavior in class not good enough to warrant new materials above his grade level that he so needed.

But this year, this has been the absolute most difficult time to support those teachers and his principal. Granted, it’s not a matter of subject matter not being challenging, as he is in a magnet program. It is more a matter of finding out that one teacher habitually calls him a liar in front of the class during discussion periods where the children are asked to talk about themselves and their hobbies(he has worked as an actor since the age of seven for a renaissance festival and actually received a paycheck for his work-luckily that day he had his child actor card/work permit that is stamped “ACTOR” in bright red letters across his picture and one of his faire ID’s in his wallet and was able to whip it out when that teacher decided to call him on it.) I supported the same teacher when I was called about his planner not being signed repeatedly and his grade being a zero for it (turns out I had been signing it all along, but she was looking for it to be on a line that she had become used to him drawing across the bottom of the page for a signature line that he hadn’t used previously and my signature was there in the block designated for her class work to be entered into.)Did she change the score to match the facts? No, of course not.

I even was fairly complacent when there was a bomb threat incident at the school and a special meeting was called for the parents, leaving the PTSA to contact everyone, and although we are PTSA members and even on some of the committees, we were not among the select few notified of the meeting. In fact, there are about 400 children in his 6th grade class alone, and only about 200 parents were contacted. Hmm...

Then there was the time when my child watched his friends get beaten up by a group of people who were obviously singling out the “Different” kids and encircling them and verbally and physically bullying them. What did my child do? He went to the nearest adult in authority on the playground that day. Was it a teacher? No. It was a policeman whose presence was there because of the bomb threat incident. Did he help my child or the ones who were obviously getting hurt? No he did not. He told my child that was not what he was there to do and to go find a teacher for help. What kind of an example is that setting? My child learned that the police are pretty to look at, but not always able to protect him. That is just what he needed to find out at the age of twelve.

The bomb threat made headlines in the paper and was widely talked about locally. That was the sole purpose for the “Extra Security” presence of the police on campus in the first place. A seventh grader was made an example out of because of that note found in the bathroom and arrested and expelled from the school.

This event led to other schools following suit and turning other small children over to the police when similar incidences occurred at an elementary school locally.

We have spent the last year watching the school officials make examples of these children. Now, yet another example is being made. A high school aged girl has been made an example of because she shared her Midol with a friend. This child is being made out to be some sort of drug-pushing teen and is now facing having to finish the school year set apart from her peers. Not only that, but she will now spend the entire first nine weeks of next school year in an alternative school which is a place reserved for the truly undisciplined children who are a danger to others and themselves. To top it off, then the same child will be required to complete a six week drug seminar/rehabilitation type program since they have labeled her a “Pusher.” Further more, the administration responsible for her discipline has stated that they aren’t as concerned about the child having the Midol at school (a violation of a very archaic policy) but are concerned because she shared it with a friend.

This is the biggest farce. As children, we ALWAYS had a back-up purse-sized bottle of some sort of aspirin or Advil or Midol/Pamprin type medicine. Did we steal it from the drug-store or sneak it from the medicine cabinet? Nope, our mother’s gave it to us so that when we had headaches or really bad cramps we could take the meds (not the entire bottle-we weren’t stupid and could be trusted enough to have it from our parents) and then once we took the meds, we could STAY IN SCHOOL and DO OUR WORK and not have to be checked out by some relative and miss the rest of our school day. This issue isn’t anything new and its not going to change the way we as moms give our daughters pain relief that is needed upon occasion(once a month for you males out there) to get them through their days.


They are more upset over the liability issue of her having given it to a friend and the “What if” factor over the idea that the friend could have had an adverse reaction to it and the administration might have been sued over it. Now really, I do wonder what the precedent is on children or families of children getting sued for sharing their over-the-counter minor pain relievers with their friends and that friend having some sort of "reaction" to it. On the norm, by that age children KNOW what they have allergic reactions to and are pretty much not going to take something that they KNOW is going to make them seriously ill.

I wonder if they would treat a five-year old who is caught sniffing glue the same way... After all, we now know that the fumes from glue could cause euphoria and is considered a form of “Drug use.” What if any child had been caught sniffing their liquid paper or their markers in class for the same reason- should these kids be made to finish their year in an alternative school that SHOULD be full of the truly "Bad" kids who have REAL problems? And then should we put them through a speed-rehab seminar on drugs??

How would that look if that seminar was populated with a bunch of elementary school kids who all got caught sniffing their Elmer’s in art class? These people are seriously saying, "Let’s make an example of them" and that’s really pathetic on their part!!!

The whole incident makes that school administration & the board backing it appear assenine and incompetent. Why should this child have to finish her final few weeks of school at some alternative school for delinquent children who have REAL problems and mental/violent issues and why should we waste our time (and potentially create a serious issue with the child who shouldn’t be in the class to begin with) sending her to the anti-drug seminar for the budding druggies?

Today, this child’s appeal hearing was held. Was the decision overturned? Of course it wasn’t, how else could this administration continue to get press once school season rolls around next year?

There are many other real problem children in the area. A teen-aged boy just got arrested for raping and beating an elderly lady in her home that he was going to rob. Another group of kids are in jail over the shooting of a boy at a local McDonalds-there’s service with a smile for you… Initially that incident was billed as a “School Rivalry” by the press. Hmm do we see a trend here?? But alas, there is a teenaged girl in Haughton who will get to go to an alternative school and sit through six weeks of drug seminar just so that her school system will get their day in the sun by making an example over someone giving a friend some Midol. What a way to encourage and increase enrollment in the district.

It’s a WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY to make an example of little girls who are caught sharing aspirin or Midol with their friends like this! It is a farce and that school system is making themselves look like a bunch of idiots and they are fast losing any credibility they may have had. But, then again, this is Louisiana and it’s not often these folks get their time in the spotlight, now is it?

I now have to talk to my child about making certain that NOTHING he does is misconstrued as “Threatening” to anyone or anything. He must make sure to never write any “I hate teacher” notes or “I hate” doodles of any kind. I used a doodle he drew in the second grade as an example of things that can be taken out of context. He drew a very long serpent style dragon with the outline of a lady in its belly curled around a funeral pyre draped with ribbon with the caption, “I hate teacher” written on it. In today’s world, that doodle could have gotten him expelled or arrested. I know that it was just a harmless doodle... We have also talked about eliminating the popular phrase, "Da Bomb" from his vocabulary lest anyone misunderstand the expression and feel that he is referring not to something that is great or wonderful, but to something that might explode and kill someone. I know that to him some things may not be signifigant and may appear mundane, but to the rest of the city it may be the next front page headline touting our fine school system with him as an example. Seriously, what are these people doing to our children in the name of creating "Examples?"

Four Months of Freedom!

Most people celebrate the First of May in the “Camelot” fashion seeing it as the whole, “It’s May! It’s May! That lusty month of May…That lovely month when everyone goes blissfully astray” concept. In my household, however, the first of May is a day I celebrate by loading up my trio and going out. Where, might you ask? It really doesn’t matter to us where we go, just that we do!

You have to understand, that my trio was born six week early and that was as far as I was allowed to carry them. So for us, they were “Full term triplets” but to the rest of the world and medically they received a very large “Preemie” label.

Now, being a preemie means a lot of things, but being a “Multiple Preemie” means ever so much more. First of all, being born six weeks early means that my babies were about 4 pounds each (Vivie @ 3lbs 15 oz. ,Kian & Kai each at 4pounds 15oz) actually large considering that the trio shared a very cramped space for a very long time.

Although they were large to me, their tiny body’s still were just not developed as much as a full-termed singleton baby would be. This meant that they are more susceptible to catching colds or even worse diseases really easily. I was given explicit instructions on keeping them AWAY from large crowds and to keep prying hands away from them. This was to be much easier said than done, as I was soon to find out!

Being that my trio was born in March, they received their RSV shots in the hospital prior to discharge. I was under strict orders to avoid places like the mall and grocery store if at all possible. Yes this included daycare as well. They remain at risk for this disease that can land them back in the NICU until after they turn 2. Lucky for me, RSV season lasts from September through April and the kids were discharged from the NICU right after Easter last year.

As I don’t really have anybody who can go shopping for me, so I had to be very careful whenever I went out! This was easy during the summer months because my twelve year old would sit in the car with the air conditioning on while I would run in & buy what we needed or I could just go at night after the kids were in bed.

The problem began when RSV season hit in September. It was really interesting to find out from my doctor’s office that the risk for this disease is so great that I actually qualified for a home health nurse that would come to my home to administer the vaccines for the babies each month starting in September and lasting through April. The insurance covers this because in theory it keeps us from having to sit in the waiting room at the doctor’s office just to have the shots administered, thus exposing the kids to goodness knows what types of diseases.

Oddly enough, I found that once September rolled around, the trio became suddenly very popular whenever we went out in public. People would seem enthralled by them and for some reason were compelled to TOUCH them- or at least attempt it- I would intervene as much as humanly possible, trying desperately not to be rude in the interim….Alas, somebody always seemed upset over my “Please don’t touch the babies-they were born very small and get sick really easily” speech.

Adults did it, children did it, and they really were offended that I couldn’t have their kids touching and crowding around mine for fear of getting sick. Scarier still, some kids actually were so rambunctious and crowding that they frightened my babies into crying. Did my kids really get sick? You bet they did. We couldn’t even go over to visit my own father without picking up a case of the seemingly never-ending sniffles. But thanks to our wonderful home-health nurse, we were lucky enough to avoid getting seriously sick and never did get diagnosed with RSV.

So I quickly learned that outings were a thing of the past and would just have to resume May first, the magic day that marks the beginning of our “Free season” where we can go to the park and go shopping at the grocery store and maybe even check out the Boardwalk finally.

This Is a Potty Emergency!

We’ve covered the fact that our triplet stroller is unusually long and very super-huge, making public appearances very awkward. We decided to try an outing to the museum last summer while in New Orleans visiting family. Being babies, of course the need arises to have to change them at some point and of course it's never in a convenient and appropriate place. This time it was smack dab in the dividing line between the Ansel Adams exhibit and the Hurricane Katrina Photography exhibit. Now there was this very nice leather-looking chaise-lounge piece of furniture in the middle area that looked very inviting. But, being in a part of the museum that was as quiet as a church sanctuary due to the content and seriousness of the subject matter, I had decided that this was NOT the place to change our panties and britches.

My aunt and I decided to demurely head for the nearest restroom. NOMA appears to have been built quite a long time ago, as the handicap allocations are mostly out of place (they are there, but hard to access) and the bathrooms would reflect this, unfortunately. Now, I have three tiny five month olds that look like newborns all screeching because their tiny hiney’s were being chaffed by their diaper contents in a very nice museum in City Park. I turned the corner, heading into the door to the lady’s room, following my aunt, only to feel like I was in the larger part of a hallway that appears to get narrower the further you walk down it. My aunt very graciously tried to hold the door to the bathroom open for us, but it involved a turn, and what appeared to be ANOTHER door just to get inside. I had to make her move so that I wouldn’t run her over with my over three foot long stroller while attempting to negotiate this latest gauntlet.

After much scooching and scraping and squeaking my rubber wheels, I managed to finagle the stroller into the bathroom only to find that once inside, we couldn’t move. There just wasn’t enough room for the stroller, my aunt and myself inside the bathroom, much less the poor innocent bystander lady who had just exited the stall as we entered, thus blocking her into the back corner of the bathroom. Puzzles, puzzles, puzzles… We managed to get the stroller at an angle as to free the poor trapped lady stuck in the corner, however it forced my aunt into a stall. I very quickly changed the perfectly synchronized dirty diapers (triplets tend to do EVERYTHING together) and set out to try and exit the restroom before some poor souls tried to fit in with us. I haven’t any clue how a handicapped person would get in much less out of there.

I decided that the next diaper change would just have to be out in the open, for all to see. I tried to be discreet, I wanted to be nice, but it just wasn’t possible. Coincidentally, our next diaper change would occur in the presence of the museum’s Salvador Dali piece and Picasso painting. It’s nice to have a little culture with our fresh panties and breeches!

Please don’t think ill of me. Yes, I am guilty of having to make use of the handicap ramps and entrances to many places out of necessity, even though I am not handicapped. I also can be found in the handicap stall of the bathroom at the mall or toy- store. If it’s any consolation, we don’t fit in the handicap stall any better than we fit into that tiny bathroom in the New Orleans Museum of Art. Its very difficult for me to go potty anywhere out and about because of that super huge extra-long stroller. So if you’re handicapped, and have to wait in line in the bathroom for your stall only to find it occupied by four very un-handicapped people, please excuse us as the higher order multiple stall has yet to be built!

The Art of All Things Boingy! What Triplets Cannot Live Without

After reading a forum posting about a lady asking for the necessary objects needed to prepare for the arrival of her baby, I began to think back about the things I couldn’t do without: or rather, things that my baby’s couldn’t have done without.

There was the usual of course, pajamas, bottles, pacifier selection and diapers. But then I listed IT, the one thing that nobody should be without, the bouncy-seat. You can stick your baby in a bouncy-seat almost from the time your bundle of joy arrives. It’s not like the variety that we had when I was little. The newer ones recline all the way back and have inserts that can be used to support even the tiniest newborn.

My tiny triplet preemies adored their seats and even used them up until recently. There is one teensy little problem with using them, though. They foster of love of all things that go “Boingy.” From the very beginning we place our children in these seats that are set to bouncing by the very tiniest movement of our infants. In the beginning this soothes them, and as they grow up, it becomes a source of amusement. After all, it’s a lot of fun to sit in the seat and make it bounce up and down as much as you can plus most come with really neat toy-bars that entice your baby to move thus fostering that love of BOINGY! Once they get a bit larger and able to hold their head up, the toy-makers came up with a way to perpetuate your child’s growing addiction of all things boingy by creating the “Johnny Jump Up.” Its this contraption that has a sort of springy clamp on one end and what looks like a sort of swing on the other end that is connected by a rather large industrial looking spring. You are supposed to be able to hang it in your doorway so baby can continue their love of boingy-ing on into their toddler years. Unless of course you live in a very old house with very large door casings, then you are out of luck. Or so I had thought. Then one day, we saw IT. Someone out there had figured out that there was a need for free-standing boingy machines and had invented the “Jumperoo” contraption that basically does the same thing only there isn’t any doorway required to function! This was a lifesaver for us. Just as soon as my preemies could hold up their heads, they were in that boingy machine. They bounced and drifted to and fro at first very lightly because they were so very light. Then, as they gained weight, they took to boingy-ing as hard and as high as their little feet could jump. In fact, even though we are a bit too old for it, we still have to have boingy sessions in the jumping machine. It’s just that addictive. If we don’t let them jump in their machine, they try & boingy in their walker or boingy in their beds. In fact they do it anyways.

My baby’s boingy in the stroller and standing in the play-yard, clutching the walls for support. They can be found boingy-ing in their exersaucers which thankfully have the good graces to have springs in them just for that reason, although it can get messy if they are having a snack and end up forgetting about it temporarily in a fit of boingy. Boingy-ing appears to be so very popular and spreading across the nation that our favorite show, “The Backyardigans” did an entire episode on “Boinga.” Yes, we have the DVD so we can boingy along with them too! The truth is plane to see, baby’s need to boingy!

Shopping With Triplets

Shopping is a necessary evil that must be done, triplets, or no triplets. Being that I don’t have anyone to leave them with while I go shopping, I have to take them with me. In the beginning it was different. I didn’t have a stroller until they were five months old, which meant I had to really improvise. In theory, I should be able to attach the car seat/baby carrier to the buggy. To do this, I would need no less than three buggies. Not a good idea for someone shopping solo. It looked promising at Sams, as they had a double seat in the front of the buggy that would seat two theoretically. Note to self: It does NOT seat two car seats. I quickly found a solution that would allow me to go out and get the things I would need sans a stroller. The solution was to place two of the seats (usually the boys) facing each other(so that they could entertain each other) side-ways in the container part of the shopping cart and put the other seat in another cart. I could have put the third seat in the front and just had one cart, but I wouldn’t have been able to see over or around the car seat and I couldn’t have bought anything which would never do! I would shop like this for nearly four months.

Eventually, it became necessary for me to have a stroller. I had to make a trip to New Orleans to say good-bye to my Grandfather and I would be going places that did not have shopping carts. I had many people looking out for me and one Saturday a friend of a friend who was out garage sale-ing ran across a triplet stroller. What luck! I threw on clothes and ran over to buy it sight unseen. Luckily it was in great condition and came with much triplet advice from the triplet mom who sold it to me. She gave me a very important piece of advice: Push the stroller, pull the buggy. I felt like Ralph Machio from “The Karate Kid” learning from Mr. Miagi. Little did I know that advice would take me very far! It’s not easy pushing something so long and heavy and maneuvering through the angry mob shopping at Wal-mart. It takes a lot of coordination and patience to get anywhere with my “Limo” as I affectionately call the stroller; even more-so when I am pulling that buggy along as well. People defiantly take notice of us, that’s for certain. I have to be very careful when I go shopping to only buy what will fit into the trunk of my car along with the stroller. I know that the stroller doesn’t fit all the way into the trunk of my car(yes I still drive a sedan) and that the trunk must be bungeed shut.

I did once forget what I was doing and had a major issue when I had to buy a new TV set and get it home in one piece. You cant just leave the babies or your 12 year old in the parking lot while you run the TV home. Luckily, I drive around with a trunk full of various sized bungee cords so I was able to puzzle piece everything into the trunk and literally bungee the tv balanced precariously in the trunk next to the stroller and still get all four kids and the grocery’s home in one piece. Now, that was scary!

I have other issues that come up while shopping. I don’t recall having the same problems shopping when I had just one baby. This weekend, for example, I made the mistake of running to the Bossier Wal-mart to pick up some baby veggies and Shrek Triplet beanie baby’s (yes they were on my list too!) People who shop that Wal-mart are just not used to something like us, I guess. People were running their buggy’s into my stroller which really can hurt my baby’s. I can’t really maneuver out of their way like they expect me to because the stroller is so incredibly long plus I am dragging a shopping cart behind us. My only recourse is to ask them to please not run into my stroller, something that they apparently find an outlandish request or rude. I honestly don’t know what else to say really. If I try and move the stroller sideways, I run the risk of it tipping over which I figure is worse than the buggy impact. This sort of commando shopping behavior really frightens my kids. Kian cried when someone decided to back into him on the veggie aisle and that man almost sat on him it was so bad. The man in question actually glared at my 1 year old for daring cry in his presence. I haven’t ever had someone almost sit on them before. It wasn’t just an isolated incident either was the scary thing. This sort of thing continued to happen the entire Wal-mart run that day. The kids were so upset by the run-ins that they were crying by the time I got them to the check-out line. I was only in there for about 30 minutes, but it was 30 minutes too long! The funny thing is, I don’t have this problem at the Youree drive area Wal-mart. I don’t even have that problem at the mall where the department store racks are so close together that its nearly impossible to shop anywhere but from the main walk-ways. I suppose I should just be thankful that I can go out and do these errands all by myself.

Breakfast In Bed

Mornings are very peaceful at my house. Each day I wake up to breakfast in bed. Not you’re usual breakfast mind you, but one for my triplets. My husband gets up for the day and turns on the baby monitor so he can listen for the baby’s to wake up while he gets ready for work each day. Once he hears them begin to stir, he makes their bottles for them and brings them to me in bed. Next, he will deliver my daughter to me for her morning bottle while he picks up both of the boys and lays them side by side on the bed. They usually will all lie in bed with me together and have their bottles while we change them and cuddle and play with them. It’s really the most peaceful way to start off a day. After they eat, the baby’s will sit there and play with each other while they wait their turn to be burped. This is the time when they will usually say and do the silliest things. Each day brings new baby tricks! Kian usually starts his day saying, “I get up! I get up! I got up!” This is something my tiny couch potato picked up from an early “Shrek” promotion commercial about good habits. Kai once actually told me not to call him by a pet name, saying, “Not Doodles, Kai!” Now he has decided to create a persona for himself and prefers to be addressed as “The Dude, Doodles!” Kian replied to this by accidentally banging his head on the headboard of the bed while nodding his head up and down in agreement (he now addresses his brother in this way.) This led Kai to say, “He can’t help it!” while shaking his head side to side as if to say, “How silly!” It was one of these mornings that found Vivienne frantic for her bottle, but when my husband picked her up to feed her, she wouldn’t eat. Because the boy’s were hungry too and needed some cuddling, he put her down in between us and turned to pick up Kai. She had this look of total shock on her tiny, beautiful face as she gasped and said, “Bad Daddy!” My husband laughed so hard he almost fell off the bed. My triplets really have turned me into a morning person with our breakfast in bed ritual!

Finally, Something I Can Relate to!

Today, I made a startling discovery. I was making a run through the Target Toy aisle, looking for any bargains on baby toys, when I ran across the end cap for the new “Shrek the Third” movie. We are “Puss” people, so it’s required that I look for new and better “Puss” toys whenever I see the “Shrek” display. They happened to have several new ones, which is what initially caught my eye. I had seen the trailer and knew that Shrek & Fiona were expecting. Target had baby Shrek toys. I picked up one to check the back to see what all they were coming out with, when I saw IT. The word “Triplet” emblazoned on the front of the package. Surely not, I thought. But most assuredly so! Shrek and Fiona are having triplets, hence the “Third” portion of the title! Better yet, they appear to be having two boys and a baby girl just like I have! How nifty is that? My kids will finally have something they can watch that emulates their life! I know what you’re thinking; it’s a cartoon for cryin’ out loud! Seriously, you’ve no idea how different growing up with 2 other siblings your own age must be. I can’t even fully understand it, but I see the way they play together, share together and treat each other when one is sad. I have some inkling that they know they are different. After all, everyone tells us so each day we go on an outing. My job is to ensure that they understand that they are different in a very special way that most people will never be able to understand, and help them relish meeting the many sets of triplets that we run into so that they know that they are not alone. I have even talked with some elderly triplets who were very helpful in telling me what it was like growing up a triplet sibling, advice that I cherish and appreciate more than these ladies will ever know. So maybe now you can understand just how having movie characters just like my kids will help out enormously in making them feel “Normal” in society. They even have traits much like my baby’s do, according to the pictures. I am so very excited that someone is tackling a portrayal of life with triplets even if it is animated and a fairy-tale.

Tales From the NICU

After they were born, the triplets were put into their own little isolette’s in the NICU. Vivienne and Kian shared an area and Kai was right across the walkway. It was observed on many occasions, that when one would cry, the others would answer. That was just the beginning. Once testing began, if one baby seemed to be getting “Special” treatment, then the other baby’s would find ways to mimic their symptoms so that they would also get special treatment as well. It was more predominant with the boys than Vivienne because she was always babied more than they were.

When Kian started looking a little yellow, he managed to blow his I.V. and they had to put it in the vein in his head. This meant that he ended up with a huge gauze hat looking contraption that sort of resembled a dunce cap. He also got to sun himself under the jaundice lamp for a day, which meant he got to wear these really cool shades (they looked like tiny baby sunglasses made of foam that were sticky-taped to his head.) Well, the very next day, Kai, as not to be out-done by his brother, decided he too wanted a very spiffy hat and shades and sure enough, he had the EXACT same set up. Kian only had his for a day. Kai, on the other had, ended his treatment a day afterward, but refused to let anyone remove his cool shades. He fought everyone and anyone who tried to wash his face. So Kai wore shades for nearly 3 days before the sticky-tape finally became un-sticky and the foam shades fell off. He was so ornery, that the nurse finally gave up on the sticky-tape removal and had my husband do it. We took a bunch of pictures of him because he was so very proud of himself.

We would discover that the boys had sibling rivalry down to an art form. Soon, the boys were sharing a bed which would lead to fighting. Kai would steal Kian’s pacifier and toss it down into the well of the isolette where they couldn’t reach it. Kian would wrap up in Kai’s wubby (a half blanket/half doll that was used to put over their heads like a tent to keep their heads warm and shade them from the bright lights.) This would inspire them both to slap at each other much like “Laverne and Shirley” would do.

Then they both were co-bedded with their sister for the first time since birth. That was when they figured out that, although they got bottles and sister didn’t, she was getting something that they were not-MEDICINE-and it looked and smelled yummy. It only took them a few days of sleeping with their heads on her chest to mimic what it was that they believed won her the extras. Kian was the first to get the “Royal” treatment. Apparently, Kai believed(or rather his brother had told him stories) that his brother was escorted from their bed in his very own little bed with wheels full of fresh-out-of-the-dryer warm blankies down to a place where he was given an extra-special bottle to drink and then they took pictures of him because he was so cute. So the very next day, Kai came down mysteriously with similar symptoms and was also escorted with the same fan-fare to that special portrait room where it was reported later that the techs found him extremely cute and funny and had played with him for quite a while. It would seem that he basically sang for his supper down there and felt he had to earn that extra bottle which he drank with such gusto that he didn’t even notice that it was full of barium until he started feeling funny. He had taken it all in so very fast that it came back up even faster, much to the chagrin of the techs. Apparently NOBODY gets sick on their table….except Kai, and he had done it so very well. So everyone ended up with the same formula and the SAME special medicine. And all seemed peaceful, for a time.

A Triplet Connection

When I first found out that I was having triplets, I set out to find the “What to Expect When You are Having Triplets” guide to my pregnancy. I assumed that there would be such a book out there, somewhere. There are books about every other aspect of pregnancy, so naïve little me figured of course this book exists. After all, triplets aren’t all that rare, at least not to me! My very nearly three month’s pregnant self headed out to begin my search for the perfect triplet owner’s manual. I was very optimistic. I waddled into Barnes and Noble and headed back to the baby section. I was very excited and ready to learn as much as I could about what I was going to need to prepare for the arrival of my tiny trio. I skimmed through the shelves in the back, ready to pounce on the triplet section once I found it. I ended up skimming and skimming and skimming. I thought, “This can’t be right.” I wasn’t finding much of anything. There were pregnancy planners and books about regular pregnancies. I even saw a lot of books on carrying twins. After about thirty minutes of going back over the selection, I did manage to find one book about multiple births, just one. Of course I purchased it, telling the sales associate behind the counter how surprised I was to find that there wasn’t really anything about higher order multiples in stock. He just stared at me a while. Finally, he did say that he thought that the subject matter was a bit rare because not very many people had multiples. I just smiled and took my apparently “Rare” book and headed home. Being optimistic, I tried other bookstores around town. I only was able to locate one more book on the subject. My library at home now consisted of only two books. What’s a mom to do? I tried the internet even only to realize that there really just isn’t much out there for people like me.

I had just started going to my specialist and he had recommended that I join the multiple birth mom’s clubs and organizations around town. I was ready to join, so I went home and hit the phone book and searched the internet. I found a few contacts for local groups and sent them an email. I received one response back, one. That response wasn’t positive. This lady reported that due to lack of interest, this division of the organization was no longer active. What’s a girl to do? I was to go on mandatory bed rest at five months. I found the triplet forum and was able to get a little information out of that. Then I ran across the many family’s out there who have had triplets and as a service to other mum’s they documented it online for others to read. I spent the next few months devouring these sites and watching the discovery health channel for anything I could relate to. I later found out that the reason there aren’t many resources out there is that each case is totally different. My pregnancy was unique, especially for a triplet pregnancy. I would just have really liked to have been able to find out a little more than I did!

The funny thing is, once you have multiples, other sets seem to come out of the woodwork! I hear from people all the time that we are the only set of triplet’s that they have ever met. Oddly enough, I have now met many sets, young and old. I meet them in the grocery store; I meet them in Wal-Mart, and in the Target parking lot. I accidentally ran into a set whose mum was selling a stroller in their garage sale-it’s the reason we have our stroller today! In fact, that lady is the lady who taught me how to shop- “Push the stroller, pull the cart,” which is the best advise I have had since the baby’s births! We run into each other and people who know us all the time now. It’s really neat to know that we aren’t alone in the world!

Triplet Games

Life with triplets can be really funny. After all, instead of one bouncing baby, I have three. I know there are all sorts of myths out there about multiples. The funny thing is, a lot of them which seem preposterous are really true. I have found out that they do develop their own language. Yes, I believe that might have been the first thing they ever did…and I have a strong suspicion it occurred in-utero. It’s scary, yet true.

Their communication skills in-utero became apparent when it came time for the advanced ultrasounds. The baby’s were required to be monitored as breathing so many times for the lab-tech in a given time-frame. It almost seemed as if they knew exactly what it was we were looking for. They appeared to team up against us on the outside. There were weeks when they were all sorts of moving around inside for the people in the waiting room of the doctor’s office. But once I got into that huge recliner and they were on “TV” they would clam up and not breathe a bit. I know they had been doing it because they had just gotten over a huge case of the hiccups- yes they can all three have them at the same time- fun to watch, hard to handle for me. It seemed that they would agree to either breathe as they were supposed to, or agree not to do it at all. It was usually an all or none situation with them. Then one day, apparently they forgot to tell Kai that they were going to be good that day. Kian & Vivie both breathed very obediently, but when they got to Kai, he held it and held it and held it. They even hooked me up to the contraction contraption and monitored me for a while then went in and re-checked him. It was then that we witnessed the funniest thing. They located each of the baby’s so that they could be sure which was which, then went over to Kai to watch him. All of the sudden, you could see these two arms come out and hit Kai in the side which made him gasp and start breathing for the tech. We all had a good laugh about that one. Then there was the night that my husband had been poking my tummy, playing with the boys. He tapped on my tummy three times over Kai. Then we both froze, because Kai tapped back somehow three times to match his daddy. This became a game with him that we played nightly.

Once they were born, we quickly found out that they had developed a form of sign-language to communicate with the outside world. Kai seemed to take the lead on this. He seemed to act as their “Spokesperson” of sorts. He showed us their universal sign for bottle which meant that they were hungry. It involved basically a thumbs-up hitch-hiker sort of sign that he would make with his hand and move to it to his mouth. They also had a sign that would let us know when they were going to spit up so that we could have a towel ready. It was an open hand that they would first place next to their neck at ear level and sort of wave it up in an arc up and over their ear. I quickly learned that when they made this sign, they meant it. Other people must have found us a bit crazy, but it really helped us communicate with them early on. They have since moved on to words like “Hungry” and “Bottle.”

After I got them all home and into their own beddy-bye, I started noticing little things here and there like the uncanny way that Kai seemed to always have three pacifiers. One day, I caught him crying as I walked into the room. The next thing I know, there are two pacifiers flying through the air only to land right next to his head. Apparently my children had decided amongst themselves that, since their pacifiers made them happy when they were sad, they would share theirs with whomever needed it the most. Being that Kai is the greedy one, he had figured out that appearing “Sad” would cause his siblings to share their things with him. He almost always has three of everything.

Another oddity in my house, is that I will find the babies laying in their own beds(they now have one for each baby) with one sock off and one sock on. They are able to communicate enough to agree to remove the same sock each off the same foot or take the same arm out of their pajama’s armhole each. I guess they are getting a head start on setting the latest fashion!

One of their new favorite games is to pick a place in the nursery as a target, and throw the same toy from each bed out and try to hit that target. I will go in their room and find a pile of Disneyworld souvenirs in the middle of the floor, or their valentines bears tossed over near the diaper pale. This game has carried over to their play-yard in a way. Only now, it has evolved into a sort of “Let’s tidy up the Play-yard.” Today, they decided to remove all of the blocks from the play-yard and proceeded to toss them out on all sides. Only the blocks were tossed today. Yesterday, they sorted out all of the Backyardigan toys. I always marvel at the way they can communicate and carry out their ideas together.

The Naming Of Triplet's...

When I first told my friends that I was pregnant with triplets (late September was when we found out), they promptly decided that I was having kittens and one called dibs on the calico one. The first question on everyone’s mind was, what are you going to name them? Well, after finding out the gender of everybody in December, we set about trying to find the perfect names. Of course this all brought to mind something written by T.S. Elliot that seemed appropriate at the time! “The naming of cats is a difficult matter, it just isn’t one of your holiday games; You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter when I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.” Yes, I had “The Naming of Cats” running through the back of my mind constantly. I figured that I might as well be having a litter of kittens. After all, there are three babies in there!

I started out on the triplet connection forums trying to see what other people do when faced with such a daunting task. I learned that people actually decided to name their multiples using the defining letter given the baby during their ultrasounds. They assign a letter to identify each child, for example, baby “A”, baby “B” and baby “C.” I was NOT going to be one of those people. So I set out to search the internet of all baby name sites. At least if I find more than one name I like, I can use both! Not so fast, I found out. Now don’t get me wrong, I did have some idea where to start. Naming my daughter was simple. My grandmother was always called “Baby Vivian” by her daddy because Vivian was also her mother’s name. I always liked the way her friends called her that even when she was well into her 60’s. I decided I wanted my very own “Baby Vivian” as well. My husband found it cute too and we agreed to change the spelling to the French version to match my name, so “Vivienne” she became. Besides, that was my favorite character from my current favorite musical, “Spamalot.” Being named after the Lady of the Lake shouldn’t be so bad! Her middle name came easily as well. We decided to name her after my very great, great aunt (she was my mother’s great aunt so I’ve no absolute idea how many greats she should be to me!.) Vivienne Emmalene she would become.

Now the boys, they would be the problem. You have to understand that I just do not like boy names. I am not your Adam or John kind of girl. In fact 12 years ago it took many trips to the bookstore before I finally found a few names that we could choose from for our yet to be born baby. I was nearly past my due date before Bregon even was a thought in our mind! And to think, my husband had wanted to name him “George” after Lord Byron, which was NOT an option because I had named our cat “George” (As in I-should-love- him- &- squeeze- him-&- call- him- George from a Bugs Bunny cartoon!) Now, I would have to come up with 2 more sets of all new and perfect baby boy names. Everyone wanted to help, of course. We thought of using my husband’s renaissance faire character name since I really liked that(I had thought it up of course.) However, naming a tiny infant “Tyberious” and naming a larger than life renaissance festival character that are two very different things. I suggested that we could call him “Tye” which was at the top of the list for a while until a friend pointed out that it was all the rage to name baby boy’s Tyberious in Houston. Besides, he had suggested not naming them after warlords in case they decided to grow to their names. Hmm… Well, after watching many episodes of the multiple baby birthing shows on the Discovery channel, I stumbled across a very nice name that an English couple had named one of their children. It took me forever, it seemed, to find a spelling of it on the internet because I was going off of phonetics. Then I had to figure out how to Americanize it (Cian or Keane appeared to be screaming for someone to mispronounce.) So the list became Alexie, Kian, and Tye. I still wasn’t very happy with the list.

After much digging, and the idea that I was not going to remain pregnant forever while the baby’s waited for me to find them names, I decided that we should use Kian and Kai. Oddly enough, after watching the movie, “Son of the Mask” I had this odd notion that I should name one of the boys Loki after the god of mischief. My husband actually liked it (despite my obviously pregnancy-hormone induced state) so the smaller of the baby boys became Kian Loki. Now I just had one more baby boy to name. Kai is from a book, “The Once and Future King” and is King Arthur’s brother. It means “Keeper of the Kingdom” according to the baby name site. I decided that he might not like being just Kai so I changed it to Kaiden. His middle name, oddly enough came from a really silly movie called “Evil Dead.” Yes, I named that baby Ash. Well, I did spell it better and I even opted out of calling him Ashley as the movie states (and much to husband’s chagrin!) Kaiden Ashe became officially the second baby boy. Oddly enough, I could tell who was who & who was where in my tummy enough to inform the nurses exactly who would be named who just before their birth!

Oh the Things People Say and Do…

As a triplet mom, I hear all sorts of things being said both to us as a family and about us as we go about our daily lives. People always are surprised to see me out shopping with my baby’s or going to the doctor by ourselves. I know we must be quite a site to see. Our stroller seats three, one behind the other and has foot rests for each baby. It is very, very long. So long, that I call it our limo. It doesn’t drive well for a stroller; however strollers rarely do drive well. Complete with our diaper bag and bottle bags for three and my purse and adorned with three sippy cups hung over the sides of each compartment, we must appear quite a site. We stop traffic, that’s for certain. Whether it is grocery shopping at Brookshire’s for our 97 cans of formula or shopping at Sam’s for our case of diapers and wipes, you can be assured of seeing quite a spectacle when I push that limo sized stroller loaded full of baby’s and pull that shopping cart.

People react in many different ways. Some just stare at us, while others will talk about us as if we can’t hear them. Then there are those who will stop us and ask questions. I don’t mind talking to people about my baby’s. It doesn’t bother me if they are pleasant and kind. Some people ask about the baby’s names. Other’s ask their birth weight, or if I was on fertility when they were conceived, and the usual “How old are they” and “How much did they weigh when they were born?” I don’t mind the general questions, but the fertility question is really much too personal and really border-line rude. It’s almost like asking if a man is that baby’s father or if that baby is adopted. Then there are the people who just make comments. I like to think that they are just awkward and don’t know what to say. I really hope that’s the case. These types of people say things like, “Better you than me,” or “Triplets?” Then there is,”I’m sorry.” I can tell you right off that I am not sorry in the least. These are my children, folks, not lesions caused by a plague, and let me tell you, it is NOT catchy! Another thing people will say is, “You’re hands must be full.” To this, I always reply, “Very happily full!” Then there is the old, “You must have a lot of help.” Actually, I don’t, something that appears to shock most people, including other mother’s who have multiples. I always figured that I didn’t deserve my triplets if I couldn’t take care of them myself. I would like to be one of those moms you see out with their mother’s or mother-in-law, however I am not that mom. My mother died the month before my 12 year old was born and both of my grandmother’s died the next year. My mother-in-law died when Bregon was three. I do have a sort of step-mother-in-law for lack of a better term. However, she lives 45 minutes away and has many, many other grandchildren of her own that she also must be grandmumsy to. I don’t mind not having help, but it does sadden me when people assume that I must have some or actually look at me as if there is something wrong with me for doing this all by myself. I hope that they mean well, but sometimes I get the idea that they do not.

It’s really hard to stop and be nice to all of these people and still remember what it is that I was out to buy in the first place, or where it was exactly that I was headed before they stopped me. I do try very hard to be pleasant and smile and at least try and answer some of their questions as nicely as I can muster, even though it’s most difficult when the children are sad, hungry, or crying and need my attention. It seems that someone always wants to talk when I need to be helping my baby’s. The strangest person I have come across while shopping actually sped up her walking in the grocery store to physically block me from turning down an aisle that I was in the process of heading down. She literally swung her cart around and blocked the end of the aisle with her buggy and jumped in front of it, heels clicking on the floor and all, just to stop me and strike up a conversation about my triplets. I was just as surprised as the ladies who had also been trying to exit that particular aisle and who were blocked by the same person! She actually said that she figured I wouldn’t talk to her if she didn’t block me like that. I told her that in the future it would be pleasant to try giving me the benefit of the doubt. I get all sorts of strange reactions from people while out and about. I try to learn from what they say and do, though. I really have learned to stop and think before I say something to someone about their newborn or baby. I know I may mean well, but I now know that what I say may not be taken the way it is meant!

What's It Like Carrying Triplet's?

Carrying triplets is probably the scariest endeavor I have ever endured. In the beginning, of course you find out that you are pregnant and you haven’t any clue that there is more than one tiny person growing inside.

Because of my prior health problems, my doctor decided to do an ultrasound at 9 weeks out. Because of a previous miscarriage, I was worried about the doctor not finding any heart beat. Little did I know, that lab tech would find not one, but THREE tiny heartbeats! What a shocker! No, I didn’t faint or pass out, although it did help that I was already lying down. But then again, that lab tech was too surprised to say anything more than, “ How many baby’s would you like?” All I could say was, “How many baby’s are you seeing?” Of course we now know the answer was “THREE!” So there I was, not expecting one viable heartbeat, only to find that I was supporting THREE! The doctor & the lab tech (after much oh my goodness-ing) printed out many pictures of my tiny trio so that I would have the undeniable proof of existence when breaking the news to my family. After all, who would believe I was carrying triplets? Funnier still, I had to have the office worker write me a letter saying that I was carrying them so that work would believe me!

Next, it was on to the specialist’s office for my 12 week introductory visit. They don’t want to see you before 12 weeks because anything less than that may not be a viable multiple pregnancy. That was frightening. I had gained 4 pounds by this point and was starting to feel my jeans tighten at the waist. The specialist turned out to be very nice, however you get to have this consultation in his office where he gets to tell me that I am much to short to be carrying triplets and that my chances for successfully carrying them are very slim. I looked him in the eye and told him, “We’ll just see about that!” This is the point where selective reduction is implied/offered, which in my case just wasn’t an option. So I left my first big appointment with my specialist armed with a list of stipulations: mandatory full bed rest at 5 months, a list of foods that you should and shouldn’t eat, explicit instruction to find, identify and eliminate all sources of stress from my life, and a term date of 34 weeks. The 34 week goal is the scary part, even though the stress elimination was a close second.

I decided to approach this rather like a game. I had a starting point which I had already managed to get past (conception-passed that test with flying colors!) and now I had a set end point to strive for. After having been told that most triplet pregnancy’s never make the 34 week mark, I decided that we would hit it right on target. The doctor just smiled. Little did he know that he would find himself writing my OBGYN a letter stating, “Please deliver these triplets the moment Mimi is officially considered 34 weeks. Not a day before, or a day later.” Much to my doctor’s surprise, after a pregnancy of no complications, I would walk to labor and delivery from the Schumpert parking garage and check myself in for my very planned c-section after the most frightening 34 weeks I have ever sustained!

A Letter of Introduction

My name is Mimi, and I am a mumsy of a 12 year old boy, two 1 year old boys, and a 1 year old baby girl. It sounds like an introduction that you would hear at some sort of 12-step program.

Instead, it’s my introduction and has been for a little over a year now. I get all sorts of questions whenever I go out. It doesn’t matter if I am in the elevator, grocery store, or a parking lot, I get a LOT of questions! I hope that by blogging, I can answer more of your questions in better detail than I can when asked while out & about!

You have to understand, that by nature, I am a very friendly person. However, I often feel that I am being rude by not being able to stop & talk as much as I would like to with everyone who stops me to ask questions. Hopefully I can remedy all of this with my blog!

Let’s start over. Hello, my name is Mimi and I am a triplet mom and mother to a wonderful 6th grader. There, that’s better. Now, let’s get to know each other a little bit better.