Discipline Issues: What's Your Method?

Posted by Vulnadia on Dec 01, 2009 at 07:49 AM How were you disciplined as a child? Do you think it affects the way you discipline your children? Yesterday, while at the Health Unit on a very VERY lengthy appointment, I watched my own kids observe how other kids were being disciplined. You can imagine that you can see all types of methods in use during that very harrowing visit. It's not a fun situation for either kids or Moms really, but you sure can observe a lot of different things. Kian especially was VERY surprised to see a 2yr old being repeatedly spanked for not sitting still in his chair for hours on end. His eyes were HUGE when that lady started smacking that child. It wasn't that she was spanking him hard, but she was repeatedly swatting him whenever he moved or fussed, and it left a HUGE impression on my kids. My kids were on their backpack leashes, but I allowed mine to hang out and share their backpack toys with the other kids and some of the other kids we met were allowed to hang out with mine in the center and play together. We had a few meltdowns, but it was a 3 hour visit and was to be expected in my case (at least I was prepared for it!) What are your expectations for your children? Do you spank in public? Use time-out? What are your limits? Personally, I expect my kids to act their age. This includes the fact that I know that small children cannot sit still for very long periods of time. Sure, mine sat in their chairs for a time, but I also allowed them to walk around, play with new friends that we met and practice their sharing. I knew Kai wouldn't like being there if it was busy. He hates crowds and gets basically claustrophobic for lack of a better way to explain it. It's his sensory integration disorder kicking in, but I expect that and must anticipate it. It wasn't surprising to me when after about an hour & 1/2 he started to have a meltdown and look for exits. In fact, the little booger knew exactly where he must go before he was to be allowed to leave and tried to march us all back there repeatedly. He's much smarter than you would expect considering this only happens every 6 months! So what do you do? Would you spank your child? Expect them to sit still for that long? Would you use time outs in public? How do your present discipline methods compare to that of those that your parents used on you? basically with kai he doesnt do crowds-or extremely loud noises especially bass...he cant do the revel well because of it...he's fine at the boardwalk OUTSIDE as long as its not crowded...but if i take him INSIDE a store there he will freak out...scream & cry like someone is seriously hurting him...the second you walk outside the door, he turns it off & is fine...yet he can do the grocery store & extremely large places like that no problem...oddly enough bass proshop is okay because of the same... some kids dont do certain textures (his is with his food-nothing goopy or gummy...mashed potatos are an iffy subject with him-it just depends on the texture & i have no idea how to get it right-sometimes it is sometimes its not...but this also could have been fueled by really bad reflux as a baby)...he cant do spaghetti or ravioli either...nothing casserole-ish...nothing can touch on his plate or it freaks him out & he cant eat it...if something does touch, he will remove that offending bite off to the side & just not touch it...he isnt the sort to really act out over it, he just quietly does it... other kids dont like their socks to bunch in their shoes, or their clothing to be out of sorts...some textures cant be tolerated... it manifests itself differently with each child really...it took me forever to figure out that was what was wrong with kai, but it made too much sense once we realized what was going on. i started another thread so we can share the info with everyone but here is the link I posted in case you find this first! HERE