NICU Reminder

Posted by Vulnadia on Dec 15, 2008 at 02:44 PM Although we were not able to attend the Schumpert NICU reunion party this year, (yes we are graduates,) it always reminds me of how lucky we are, and moreso reminds me of our plans for the future. You see, I learned a very interesting thing, having my kids do their stint in the NICU when they were little. Did you know that there are many babies that are given up for adoption and left to fend for themselves in the NICU? Frightening enough, there are even multiples who find themselves in this situation. The saddest part about all of this, is that a baby's number one motivation for living is their Mother and next, their family. It is what motivates them to thrive and grow and learn to do what they must to survive. What is upsetting is the thought of children left by their parents for whatever reason, to battle the difficulties of the NICU on their own. I first learned about these babies shortly after my children were born. You see, when out and about with multiples, other multiples come out of the woodwork and talk to you. One particular set of twins did not actually belong to the lady who brought them over to meet my triplets. You see, she was their foster Mother and specialized in caring for multiples. While we were talking, her cell phone rang, and it was an inquiry. They had just had preemie triplets born and given up for adoption by their teenaged mother, left in the NICU and they were trying to place them with someone who could care for them after they "Graduated" (if they in fact survived as it turns out.) The lady I was talking to, as it turns out, already had not one, but 2 sets of twins in her care and couldn't take on any more children at the time (understandably,) but this opened my eyes to a new need in the world. If anybody is looking into adopting, instead of considering looking outside of the country, why not look right here at home? Start by getting certified to be a foster parent. Then, please consider (especially those of you who would like more than one child) fostering multiples. They do better when kept together, anyways, and most face being seperated once entering the system. There are babies out there who really truly need a caring Mum and family to give them the nurturing and strength that they need to grow and thrive. Not all children are born with birth defects, either. Some are only in the NICU because they were born too early and need to grow a little before they can learn to eat and be strong enough to go home. But, they will only have the nurses to help motivate them if they have been given up for adoption by their parents and left in the NICU. My husband and I, once our children are grown, plan on getting certified to do just this. We will have been through it fully already, and plan on working to help babies in these situations have a better chance at surviving and hopefully a home where they can stay together as multiples. I never knew what became of those tiny triplets who were put up for adoption in the NICU that day, but I think of them often. I really hope that everything turned out well for them, I do. In the meantime, if you are planning to adopt, please consider this often overlooked area. by Vulnadia on Dec 16, 2008 at 10:29 AM wow, you guys are soo lucky to have had the chance to know your daughters birth mother & everything- that is really special! toddlers are every bit overwhelming- but it gets much much better!!! you may still be able to go thru foster care in spite of age- the lady that i had met at the revel wasnt young by any means- & i have met a few more since then- but none who are willing to take in multiples like that- i just know how hard it was for me to carry my trio & how much & how hard i had to work to stay pregnant & all of the decisions that i had to make & changes & such- i also never shall forget going to see my specialist & how the first thing he offered me was selective reduction- it blows my mind that any lady would carry multiples as far as this girl had to have (over 7 months which isnt easy for higher order) & deliver & just decide afterward to put them up for adoption & leave-which is basically how the story was relayed- (it was relayed very matter of fact too)- i mean, i know that the very second i found out that i was carrying triplets i was told how difficult it would be to carry them if at all- & how i ran out & started learning as much as i could about how to pull this off & make it work in spite of that specialist advising me that i was too small to be able to successfully carry them at all & that i should either let him reduce the amount to one or two babies- preferably one, or just terminate the pregnancy altogether & start over again- i mean, if i was offered all of that & told all of that at first glance, what was that young mother told? she apparently knew about her multiples prior to delivery- so she had to have had some medical care of some sort- i just cannot believe any mother would go thru all of that just to leave the babies like that- they were born early enough to have a not-so-great shot at making it,too- which was the most upsetting part- all i could think of was how i couldnt even see my babies for over a day after they were born (they almost did me in on the operating table) & how my husband had to take over as primary caregiver & oversee & make all the medical decisions in the nicu on their behalf & how the babies responded to his voice & that of my eldest son's & how they seemed to know that their daddy & brother were there for them- they wouldnt let me hold vivienne for a whole week after she was born- & it drove me crazy- she had the preemie overstimulation thing & would cry if anyone touched her & it would send her monitor off & all- heck she couldnt even tolerate clothes for almost 2 weeks- i just cannot imagine what these babies would have to go through without having anyone around that they were familiar with- no mommie or any other family- i mean, i could see if you were planning on adoption, going & finding a family for them- after all, staying together after adoption would be an issue- heck even after delivery its an issue-thats the first thing they ask is if they can co-bed them- mine werent at first for medical reasons- but they still answered each other when one was sad,the others would cry back to them to give baby support- the nurses were sort of weirded out by it at first, but then found it sweet- i dont know- this is just an area that seems often overlooked- & to discover that there arent really any foster folk out there that are willing to spend the extra time to do the nicu stints & take on multiples is really saddening to me for some reason- so i hope that one day, my husband & i can help out & fill that gap & give these babies a better chance at life. i know its an odd thought to be having, but every year the nicu party reminds me of it- & we always end up sitting in the living room planning & talking about how we will pull it all off- hoping your husband comes around for you guys- that would be wonderful if you could have a second adoption that was as wonderful as your first! ~mimi