You Know You Have Multiples When....

Posted by Vulnadia on Jul 27, 2009 at 07:22 PM borrowed from a friend!!!! this goes for most parents of multiples!!!!! enjoy!!!! You Know You Have Triplets When... Your stroller has its own zip code....ours has its own name, its own accessories, it's own seat in the car... Dinnertime is officially declared an Olympic Event....& can be worn by all, parents & siblings alike!!! yes i've had to scrub the ceiling, the walls, the china cabinet... You are the only parents who can utter, “Stop playing with that, it’s not YOUR penis” with a perfectly straight face...& that's the least of it...really it is!!! You arrive at your doctor’s appointments early just to read the magazines in peace....as if..everyone always tags along with em & read the mags together...aloud...picture by picture...wait til you hear how they all say boudreaux's butte paste... Root canals are a great chance to catch up on your sleep...as are stop signs & redlights & any adult movie that is rated pg13 or above! You laugh at singleton moms that are struggling to get their stroller out of the car. You wonder how come singleton moms need a diaper bag the size of a suitcase, while you travel with enough for your babies in a bag half the size....or with no bag at all!!! yes i do it all the time!!! You can unload two, or three babies (or more) from car seats and put them in your stroller WHILE you are laughing at the singleton mom getting her stroller out of her car....& do it in half the time she can/does... Your husband has seriously tried to motorize your stroller...& has mastered dissassembly & reassembly in parking lots... There is no room in your refrigerator for food, all available space is occupied by pre-prepared bottles of formula. well we've graduated to sippy cup hell, actually...we have no less than 40 in there...as of last night...& i washed & put some away...they got em back out & put them back in the fridge though...i got caught... You look at a closet full of diapers and think “I’m running low” we get the mondo pack o pampers from sams- it lasts MAYBE 2 weeks if we are lucky...more now that we are trying to potty train... A regular sized pack of diapers lasts only 2 days... if that! & i feel stupid if i have to buy a pack... Every morning you mentally prepare yourself for the worst before your enter “that” bedroom, (naked toddlers, wet bed sheets, diapers on the floor and three little voice saying “poop, poop”) often times i have to rearrange the furniture BACK to where it should be, free trapped babies from the inner circle o cribs, & once lost a baby only to find her having moved her entire bed contents underneath her brothers crib & was inhabiting it at the time very quietly!!!! also i worry for the dvd player (we are on #3) Your biggest dilemma is how to keep those dang diapers on. duct tape is a regular diapering necessity as is scissors... You are obsessed with diapers....diapers & what is on em & who likes/dislikes which character- you do NOT want them taking off each other's diapers & switching out which they can & will do if you get it wrong!!!! You can throw French-fries to the rear set of seats without looking and none end up on the floor....in fact they often go directly into their mouths...kid you not... You can change diapers standing up, while in line, at the Children’s Museum...the mall...the park...you name it...i can change em there... You feel like a sheepherder instead of a parent....or a dog walker most days... You have people asking if you run a daycare because that’s what your yard looks like....& then out & about they argue that kian must be older than his siblings even though he is the middle triplet....so they must be twins.... You can carry 3 plates of food and 3 cups (or 4) to the table without spilling anything and you’ve never been a waitress. A trip to Walmart for diapers is a vacation even at 1:am....sams is even more exciting of a trip...like safari but different, only they feed my animals for me!!! Your stroller costs more than your first car....all 3 of them (the strollers) cost more!!! You can hold at least three conversations at the same time. & in tripletese sometimes!!! & can translate most things into english now... You no longer have a proper name. You are either “The Lady With The Triplets" or "Moooooommy"!! You consider the commute to work Mommy time. also potty time is mommy time!!! You find yourself singing songs from Yo Gabba Gabba while at Walmart. well not yo gabba, but backyardigans is my song virus du jour!!!! its all about cleotasha, queen of denial!!!! You can quote Monster’s Inc. verbatim. & annie & lady & the tramp & 101 dalmations etc!!! You automatically divide or multiply everything by 3....oh yes, everything from airplanes & toys down to chicken nuggets!!! You have diapers in your purse, in the glove compartment, your desk drawer and in every room of the house – just in case. Every square inch of seating in your vehicle is taken by car seats....& what isnt is taken up by stroller & parts!!!! You know you are a MoM when you can sweep, talk on the phone, AND read to your children all at the same time.dont forget work!!!! You had to buy a 2nd refrigerater when your babies switched to solids. & another freezer!!! You aren't surprised when a stranger in a store pulls out his phone and snaps a photo of your family....i HATE this...its rude!!!& creepy too! Your monthly grocery budget is greater than the annual budget for the State of Rhode Island. Four hours of sleep is “fully rested” and falling asleep over the kitchen sink is a “fulfilling nap” The first thing you ask upon arriving home is for the poop and pee report. gotta be awares!!!! 2 minute tasks take 30 minutes because you have to keep returning to the play room to break up fights, peel the kids from the wall, change a diaper you can actually smell from the next room, break up more fights, remove a child from the top of the couch/from inside the fireplace or from the dining room chandelier, perform surgery on the VCR because there is an UFO inside of it, fill sippy cups back up with water because whatever was in them disappeared mysteriously (only later when you sit down on the couch you will find where it went) remind them not to jump on each other, break up a few more fights and change more poopy diapers. You've ever fed your whole family a meal from the same plate or bowl. how bout same combo meal from canes???? You not only are familiar with what a 300 count box of Kleenex looks like when they are all removed from the box one at a time, but you know for a fact you can’t put them back because you’ve tried... or wipes or papertowels!!! toilet paper is the worst though! You curse stores for only having two of something in a package, or for only having two of something on their shelf. or not having it come in multiples of 3!!!! You buy Baby Motrin, Cough Syrup, etc, 3 at a time, and the clerk looks at you funny, while the whole time you are wishing they sold it in gallon containers. & worry that you are on THE LIST & that your home will be raided because of it... You pull 3 tickets for Car seats at Toys R Us to take to the register, and when you get there the clerk says, “Ma’am, I think you picked up too many of these or they must have been stuck together.” You’ve fallen asleep in any of these places: The shower, washing dishes, sitting on the floor reading them a book, with your fork on the way to your mouth..@ redlights, @ stopsigns... You agonize over what it will be like when they get to school and you have three teachers to visit on parent night, three different sets of homework, and your babies aren’t even out of the NICU yet....i dread kindergarden...i am principal's office bound, i just KNOW it!!!!we've started buttering up the teacher already a year in advance! Instead of a wallet full of photos you carry around a CD because it holds 700 megabytes of them. 700 megabytes is 1 night worth of photos...& the phone memory is full from pictures of the kids! Everyone in the neighborhood knows who you are, even though you’ve never met them before...& knows your kids & how to tell em apart...even though some family members cant do the same... The grocery store clerk has commented on the 6-9 gallons of milk you buy each week, telling you it would be cheaper to buy a cow. You’ve ever truly considered strangling someone who said, “you’ve got your hands full” or “I’d shoot myself”....oh yeah, considered this one all the time!!!!specially when they decide to time it to coincide with a major fit or problem that i am trying to resolve & they insist upon interupting to say all of this!!! You’ve ever been so sleepy that you can fall asleep with the baby lying on your chest and fail to wake up despite the fact that the baby is screaming directly into your left ear...this works on the baby monitor too or in bed when they have invaded... You are both shocked by the rudeness, and amazed by the kindness of strangers in the same 60 seconds upon entering Walmart. or any store for that matter!!! its amazing the things some folks will say & do Walmart is probably your favorite store, since its open 24 hours, diapers and formula are cheaper there, and they have triplet carts. Oh, and you consider going to Walmart at 11pm “going out.” its getting those carts that is the problem!!!! If you’ve ever charted poops, pees, and food intake. You know at one time you did have a spouse, but now you can’t remember... You have to wash the dinner dishes by hand because the dishwasher is full of bottles & sippy cups & other things they have stashed inside... The singleton mom in front of you at Walmart buying one can of formula and one bag of diapers complains about the price and you have to restrain yourself from hitting a complete stranger....97 cans of formula please!!!! & the clerk runs in abject terror from me!!! The clerks at the grocery store have to regularly restrain you from pummeling any singleton mom that takes the last multi seat-shopping cart. You are both revered and hated by the staff at your pediatrician’s office...oh yeah...they love/hate to see me coming!!!! You don’t see anything unusual with the fact that you know not one, but several, higher order multiple moms. You no longer have to wonder what a “poop painting” would look like. in fact we have pictures...art is a terrible thing to waste... A complete stranger walks up to you in the mall and says “my niece has triplets, her name is _________ do you know her?” and you can answer “Yes I do.” & can name the kids & their ages & describe em all The awareness of silence strikes terror into your soul....ESPECIALLY at my house!!! its why the silver relocates weekly... You know the black market value of a Runabout stroller....& have one to boot! You consider cereal dumped on the middle of the floor, not to be bad parenting, but rather a unique picnic breakfast! All kids are aware that any sippy cup left unattended is fair game. & that it can & will result in bruises should aquisition fail! Whining is heard not just in stereo, but in surround sound! You go to an amusement park with your triplet stroller only to realize YOU’VE become the source of amusement, or you go to the Zoo and find the other visitors watching your kids more than the animals...happens at the movies, at the circus, disney on ice...sesame street live... Your peri says you look like a beached whale at 24 weeks & they wonder why you are still pregnant each time you come in... You know what the word Peri stands for. You use the word singleton...& often You need a hitch for your stroller....heck we need a uhaul for it!!! You refer to your babies as A B and C....nah we had em named at that point... $15.00 baby outfits seem too expensive... not to mention the shoes!!!! You buy a single weeks worth of formula, and the clerk asks you if you are stocking up....that 97 cans of formula a month please!!!! You laugh at singleton moms for sterilizing pacifiers. You can’t stop yours from sucking on each others fingers, nose, ears, toes etc, so you just shake your head because you know those germs are building up their immune system. the 10 second rule is the standard norm @ my house... You pick up a dropped paci, and just blow the dust off rather than rinsing it because after all, 5 minutes ago they shared it with the dog, and you didn’t get to it in time before they put it back in their mouths. What’s a little dust? You intentionally feed all 3 kids from the same spoon and bowel even though one is sick, because you can’t bear the thought of 3 consecutive 2 week cold sessions, you’d rather have them sick at the same time....this really happens all the time!!! You enroll them in or join every activity and playgroup you can, you visit every playground in a 10 mile radius, sometimes more than 1 a day, just so you can be out of the house from dawn to dusk so you have less to clean up. When discussing child proofing and singleton moms say “you just have to tell them no, you can’t child proof everything” and you laugh and say “Wanna Bet?” for everything else, there is duct tape... After 20 minutes in the car you realize you are not only listening to the kids tape, but you are singing along with it, and there are no kids in the car. The $250 travel system stroller that singleton moms complain about being too big, look like toy strollers to you. You’re not sure if what you squeezed on your toothbrush was toothpaste or diaper ointment, but you’re too tired to care, and too tired to check, so you keep brushing anyway. You say to your husband “if you wake up these babies I’ll kill you” and you mean it. & he knows it & says "Yes Ma'am" You say to your mother “if you wake up these babies I’ll kill you” and you mean it. You say to your cat “if you wake up these babies I’ll kill you” and you mean it.*-dog & sometimes neighbors too! It doesn’t matter, you ARE buying them out of ProSoBee, and the other moms can just get over it. You can hold two babies and mix formula at the same time....& go potty & eat dinner & fix dinner & all sorts of other bizarre things you never thought you would find yourself doing! Only one of your babies is sick. You leave the other 2 with someone else, take the sick one to the doctor, and consider it quality one-on-one time... You go to the hardware store for your childproofing needs. & find it in the duct tape aisle...thankfully it comes in coordinating colors for the nursery... All of a sudden everyone you know, knows someone with triplets but couldnt tell you who they are... A playdate with less than 6 kids is boring. Crib Tents? You can’t afford NOT to buy them. even if you know that a lock on the nursery door is inevitable... You know what a crib tent is! You consider leashes a viable safety option & use them often!!! even if it does mean someone sometimes get dragged...or tied in a baby knott...or you get tied up... You burst into laughter at the site of a diaper Genie… AS IF….!! You celebrate the birthdays of the people who invented the spill proof sippy cup and the auto repeat replay function on DVD players. & lets not forget all hail the gods of duct tape!!!! You bought a dog (or have thought about it) to cut down on post meal cleanup time...& it works! On the way to rescue a paper towel roll on the verge of destruction you suddenly realize that it might buy you 5 minutes to check your e-mail. The next day, the kids wake up too early, you open their door long enough to throw in a couple of rolls of paper towels and you go back to bed...this also works if they attack the tv & turn the dvd player off...you can just open that doorbarely enough for the remote to work!!! You're children aren't properly diapered unless they are duct taped & they ask for it by name!!!!its a hot commodity & status symbol @ my house! You purposely put your kids' pajamas on backwards. You discover Nirvana when you finally convert to that all one color/all one size/all one style of socks, system...there is any other way??? & everyone gets matching shirts & clothes so they dont fuss & fight! Your home has become a complex maze of gates, locks, and barricades. Your kids have never actually walked through the zoo or store, because getting out of the stroller is NOT an option. You are not horrified at the idea of “waking a sleeping baby” to eat. After all, it is time to EAT so sayeth the master schedule! You seriously wish someone would sell Orajel in a toothpaste-size tube. Is this little tiny tube supposed to be a joke? And that’s with the one day supply of infant Tylenol… don’t they know I need a 32oz bottle? You delivered 14 lbs of baby, and didn’t set any records. & lost 40 lbs on delivery day alone... Your nickname for a period of time was Bessie. You spend more time pumping than sleeping. You don’t think the Suburban is a large vehicle. & when you go to try & qualify for the new auto program you cant because the only vehicles you can consider are actually less mpg than what you are driving!!!! When hearing of a new pregnancy, you first question is “just one?" You call one baby a singleton (before your triplets arrived, it was just “a baby”) All your friends have multiples. You send 7 invitations to a birthday party, and you have 15 kids show up, and you were expecting more. You don’t want to potty train because the though of trying to take all 3 to a public bathroom yourself sends shivers up and down your spine. the thought of spending 45 minutes to an hour in any bathroom sends shivers down my spine!!!! i have to live in there now!!!! eek! You make formula by the gallon and it lasts only 24 hours. Your pediatrician’s office recognizes your voice & quakes in fear each & every time you call Your one year old carpet needs replacing. And you know you have a friend who is also a triplet mother when: She gets as excited as you by the phrase “Buy one get one free”. You don’t find it strange that she has driven to five or six doctor’s appointments this week. You can remember her children’s birth weights, and gestation at birth, but you can’t remember her phone number. You know you will have someone to grumble with you about the establishments that require a one child/one parent policy You’re not embarrassed by the fact that she has seen the inside of your house, van, diaper bag, etc. You refer to her as “your support group” Outsiders think you have your own private M.O.M. language of terms and jokes, and they are right! It doesn’t matter if the two of you had nothing in common before your kids arrived because you have EVERYTHING in common now! it's all true is the saddest part about it!!!!