I'm Just Not Ready Yet

Posted by Vulnadia on Jul 19, 2009 at 10:29 PM I know that some of you probably are expecting me to be blogging about my week and all, and I'm sorry if I dissapoint you. I just can't share much of what went on this week just yet. In fact, after what happened, I don't know that I will be able to talk too much other than about generalities of what we are going through. I need to talk about it, but I just do not feel that it is appropriate just yet or that really I can do this just now. Why would I have a problem with it when I have been sharing literally everything with you guys over the past three years? Well, this week, after watching the press and how they treated the whole situation, and then the public's reaction to everything, I just do not feel comfortable. There was a lot of incorrect information shared, some of which was never corrected. Then what people call "Trollers" got a hold of everything and dared post the most awful things tagged onto what should have been a subject that did not warrant any debate or even criticism. Our children saw the awful comments left by the cold heartless trollers and read the extent of the media spin placed on the situation. My own child wanted to know how people could dare to say the things that were said. Why would the media take a story and put a spin on it making the situation into a large overblown disgusting commercial for churches? The pun on the "Uplifting" issue of the bus being put upright brought on a huge tirade from my own child, then became the subject of a conversation at lunch after the second funeral among he and his friends, several of which were on the bus in question. Embaressingly, my own father saw us attend the second funeral, because a camera crew was shooting footage from the bushes next to the parking lot accross the street from the church and they sold the footage to the news channels. Our kids wanted to know why they wanted to take our pictures and moreso why they were hiding in the bushes to do it. What should I tell them? They didn't think that these people had any business filming us or taking pictures of us. The situation is hard enough to cope with as it is without the intrusion of outsiders who only want a story that the trollers can tear apart and debate religion over. Do they care about the people involved? Do they really need pictures of our kids growing up before our eyes, having to do things that even adults find difficult? Should the faith of our children be questioned by the pirahna who troll looking to stir up trouble on the main news-site forums? Is what happened enough cause to warrant our children and their lives and thoughts and healing process as an open book to the public? How far is too far? My child found it difficult to go to out anywhere this week because everywhere he went it seemed someone was saying something ugly about what had happened to his friend. A part of him wanted to stop and talk to them, tell them the real story. He actually tried explaining it to some kids who called him a liar and accused him of making it all up so he gave up. He couldn't even bring himself to tell these folks that what happened was awful enough without having to make something like that up. He stayed in for two days last week because of it. People are cruel. They do not realize that their words can hurt others, or rather, maybe they do. These are children that they are attacking, arguing and debating about. The thoughts and minds of our children are public and open to debate? I do not know if I will get similar response here if I talk about my experiences and thoughts about the goings on of this past week. I do not know that I can trust everyone not to judge, not to debate what I write. I like to think that my words are safe here, but after everything that we have seen and witnessed this week, I cannot be sure. So, for now, I will remain quiet on the subject. Maybe in time I can write about it. I need to write about it, but not if it's going to be torn apart and give rise to some bizarre religious debate. Hopefully the trollers will all fade away and find something else to prey upon. Maybe then I can write and talk about it all.