What Would I Do If My Kid Turned Out To Be Gay? Seriously?

by Vulnadia on Aug 17, 2009 at 12:44 PM First of all, you have to understand that my best friend since I was 16 was gay. We shared wardrobes, everything...Danny died in a car accident 2 years ago, hence my past tense usage. Husband also has immediate family that also happen to be gay. One has been in a relationship/married for all intense and purposes since my son was about 5. We have never tried to hide any of this from any of our children. So sue me, my children all have grown up finding such relationships the social norm, as they have grown to actually be out in the world in this day and age. My children just happen to have 2 aunts that live together as a couple, raising a child who also happens to be gay as well. No, they did not raise the child to be "Gay" and no it is not some disease that can be cured with a vaccination. In my experience it is purely how people can be hardwired from birth. Yes, at first this branch of the family had difficulty with some of the family dealing with acceptance. However, that stemmed more from actions and mishandling different issues that mainly led to all of that. We have always done our best to support these family members as best as we can, including just accepting my niece as she has grown up no matter what her choices may be. It just so happens that this branch of the family happen to be our primary babysitters whenever husband & I must go out and do anything. They have a loving family home-life, and have always loved my children as their own. I personally find no problems with any of it and never have. That being said, if I caught my son kissing another guy, we'd talk about it, discuss it all and everything involved as it completely changes the "Safe-sex" discussion. If he has turns out to have a different sexual preference than the supposed social norm, I'm okay with that and even my husband will be okay with it. I have 3 sons in this day and age and I realize that it is a very real possibility that one or more may turn out to be "Gay." No, I don't sit at home and ponder how or what their sexual orientation will be when they grow up, but Husband and I have discussed it. But I also don't gender/stereotype them into boy/girl roles at home and at play, either. In my house, everyone has dolls, everyone has their own cars. My eldest had a set of collectable boy dolls growing up and my baby boys got their first Madame Alexander when Vivienne got hers. The boys have boy dolls that they can "relate" to and so forth. They also play with Vivienne's girl dolls. I don't redirect in play if the boys want to take tea everyday at 9:30 in the playhouse, something they did for almost a year straight, actually! They play house and kitchen together, everyone. Their imagination is the limit on their roles and I do not discourage that one way or the other. Am I raising little gay people? If my eldest is any indication, no, I won't be. But truth be told, they will grow up and turn out the way they are hardwired from conception. And NO I will do nothing to change them for any reason. I believe people are who they are and grow to love whomever they are attracted to when they reach that age that it becomes apparent. I may have a budding drag queen in my midst, I don't know! If I do, I will become a pagaent Mom with the best of them and will go see my kid compete for his crown just like I would go to their graduation ceremonies or their weddings should the day come they decide to have one. Who the bride or groom is and their gender is no business of mine. That is their personal choice to make as is their clothing choices and even gender should they decide to change it for any reason. I believe that love is a personal issue. All we can do to help our children through it is be there for them, inform them of the basics of sex-ed & disease and support them in their choices. I have many good friends who happen to have same gender partners for lack of a better way to put this and they function just fine in society. In fact, some of the relationships have lasted longer than my friend's regular marriages. I have friends who have had partners in both genders at different times in their lives. It's their choice. I don't let my own personal beliefs interfere with that, whatever they may be. I don't have a religion that dictates how I should treat my children or peers in this given situation and if I did, I would begin to question and wonder at a group that would have me ostracize my friends family and even my children for belief based biases. Each to their own is a great way to think of this, no matter how discomforting you may find the situation. And if and when that day comes when I run into just such a similar situation as the Mom in the article that inspired this, I am sure I will share how I handle it and cope with everyone same as I do everyday! by Vulnadia on Aug 17, 2009 at 01:22 PM i just talked to a friend of mine who isnt on this site, who happens to be VERY catholic, & she says she had "the talk" with her 14 yr old daughter (bregon's new lady friend) about how to handle BOTH advances/situations...which I thought was pretty nifty & neat...especially since she thought of it without having to just find out one day the hard way...& she was very objective about it, too which I found very cool! in this day & age we as parents must be prepared for ANYTHING basically!!!! ~mimi